Tag Archives: bewilderment

Amen

dictionary with letter A

Amen: (exclam) 1. uttered at the end of a prayer, meaning “so be it.” 2. used to express agreement or assent

Turning my TV channels in the wee hours of the morning, I stumbled across a whole series of religious programs, proffering their view of the holiness of God and the varying degrees of the depravity of man.

Although they were quite different in appearance and style, their content was similar in one remarkable way: every once in a while, as the speaker was touting his or her revelation, they would stop and say, “Can I get an amen?”

After a while, it lost some of its charm and spontaneity and began to reek of desperation. It was similar to pausing in the middle of a romantic encounter and asking your partner what she thinks of your lip technique. Or going to have a new tire put on your car and having the attendant insist that you come and watch him and grunt your approval during the process.

It just isn’t very attractive in the human experience to be so needy that you feel compelled to demand reinforcement.

I know we’re supposed to tell people we love them, but honestly, after a while, it sniffs more of platitude than it does gratitude.

An “amen” should come forth when the audience spontaneously feels energized by a notion or a prayer that causes them to give voice to their support.

I don’t like to go to a concert and have the group onstage, before they have even sung a note, insist that we all begin clapping. I don’t like being forced to stand up and I don’t want to be “rallied” to a cause which is either not clear to me or has not stimulated much enthusiasm in my soul.

If we do too many charlatan actions in our lives, faking our zeal, we soon will forget what it’s like to be overtaken by joy, overwhelmed by blessing and swept along by the magic of great ideas.

As I watched the shows last night and the camera scanned the audience, they were a strange mixture of bewilderment and submission.

If God needs me to merely perform the function of a pawn which He pushes across a chess board to generate the appearance of movement, then honestly, I’m not particularly interested.

But I am fully prepared to be affected, stimulated and rejuvenated … at any time.

Agnus Dei

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter AAgnus Dei: (n) 1. a figure of a lamb bearing a cross or flag as an emblem of Christ 2. an invocation of liturgy meaning “lamb of God“

I suppose I’m an inferior religious person because some of the symbolism really bothers me. Maybe it’s not so much that it bothers me, but it really confuses me with its mixed messages and unclear signals.

First, we have a God who tells people He doesn’t want them to kill. Then we’re told that He really likes the idea of us killing animals and spilling their blood on an altar as a token of absolution for our sins. Then some renegade prophets come along and tell us this is completely inaccurate and that He really finds it revolting to “sacrifice little beasts so that we can make it to a heavenly feast.”

And finally, convinced that God wants mercy and not sacrifice, we are reintroduced to a blood-thirsty deity who apparently demands the suicide mission of His human, flesh-clad son, in order for us all to be redeemed from our nasty little vices.

Then, further adding to my bewilderment, we are supposed to refer to this pre-destined, condemned offspring as the “Lamb of God,” when it was made very clear that God didn’t like lambs becoming the scapegoat.

You see what I mean?

So whenever I’m in church and I find myself listening to a rather Druid interpretation of the tenderness of God, and especially when they’re asking me to repeat words which parrot this oblique philosophy, I teeter between silence and rage.

Would somebody please make up their minds? Does God hate bloody lambs?

Or does He secretly like them?