Tag Archives: black

Afro

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

 

Afro: (n) a hairstyle with very tight curls that sticks out all around the head, like the natural hair of some black people

James was black.

Nothing truly significant can be ascertained without this fact. I do not bring this up because his skin color made him superior OR inferior to anyone else. It just gave him different hair.

James worked for me for a while–matter of fact, lived in my house. It was a rather communal setup, so we shared food, toothpaste, and even hair products.

James was very gentlemanly. It was several weeks of quiet displeasure on his part before I noticed his disgruntled spirit.

I was a bit perturbed so I asked what the problem was. His response was standard.  “Nothing.”

Of course, he knew that his “nothing” was really NOT nothing, and he hoped that I would pursue his “nothing” by trying to find something out. So I did.

“No, no,” I continued. “What’s up?”

After a few more overtures of encouragement, he released his burden. He explained that his hair was not like my hair, and that my “white people” shampoo and conditioner was killing his follicles. I produced a quizzical look, as paler brothers often do.

He asked me to feel his hair–and I discovered it was rather bristly and dry. He explained in vivid detail that his afro, which was very fashionable for the time, needed to be conditioned with the kinds of oil that I would probably find to be greasy, but his hair found necessary.

I think he thought I would be critical, since the idea of purchasing additional products would be expensive, but stepping out of my Anglo-Saxon world and putting down my mace and Viking horns, I agreed. Matter of fact, he took me with him to the store to purchase his items, and even though they tallied up to quite a sum, they made James happy. They also gave a tremendous shine and bounce to his afro.

I learned a lot that day. Even though afros are not as prevalent as they were when James and I were working together, I understood–and I understand now–that what’s good for one person’s do is a don’t for others.

Advance

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Advance: (v) move forward, typically in a purposeful way: e.g. the troops advanced on the capital. 2. to lend money to someone 3. an approach made to someone typically with the aim of initiating a sexual encounter.

He asked me if I was “a progressive.”

I realized it was a trick question. He obviously did not approve of progressives and had found a box he planned to stuff me into, to satisfy his simplistic way of thinking.

For it seems that somewhere along the line, a desire to advance the cause of mankind and progress us toward better solutions has become unsatisfactory.

In my lifetime, many of the things I was told were irreversible and immutable in their sacred nature have been abandoned in favor of easier practices.

For after all, I grew up thinking that black people were black, homosexuals were homosexual, women were women, north was north, south was south, divorce was evil, technology was mistrusted and that the hula hoop was actually a toy to entertain children.

All of these things have been pushed aside to advance one universal concept: freedom.

Yet the people who want freedom for one thing in this country want to restrict it for something else, and those who are determined to promote their particular agenda will be more than happy to pour gasoline on yours and set it on fire.

What does it mean–to advance? What is the definition of making progress? When do we know that we are moving forward instead of stumbling backwards or doing a two-step side to side?

Am I just an idiot to think this can be answered with one question:

Is it making better humans?

Because it would be impossible to help stray dogs, cats and Bambi, for that matter, if the human beings around them want to hurt them and kill them.

It would be ridiculous to think that we could give equal rights to the mass of the multitude if portions of the crowd have already decided that some people are inferior.

And we certainly will not be able to stop war–which may be the antithesis of advancement–until each one of us realizes that we are probably not going to get everyone to conform to our ideals.

Is it making better humans? That’s my yardstick.

  • I’m sorry–I don’t think pornography makes better humans. I’m not going to rail against it, but I also am not going to pretend that it’s “a rite of passage.”
  • I don’t think guns make better humans. I’m not suggesting they should be prohibited–just not promoted.
  • I don’t think abortion makes better humans. I prefer contraception, education and adoption.

My list goes on and on. I’m sure it would vary from yours–but we might be surprised at how many cross-references we would have.

I would love to see us advance. I have been fully warned NOT to call it being progressive–but at the very least, could we take some time to think about our survival and how we might want to make the lives of our children and grandchildren richer, more spiritual and laced with intelligence instead of dulled by drugs, attitudes and practices … that leave them in a stupor.

Adorn

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter A

Adorn: (v) to make more beautiful or attractive: e.g.pictures and prints adorned the walls.

If you’ve never been fat, it’s an interesting journey.

First of all, it’s one of the few physical conditions that has degrees of intensity. For instance, we don’t say that someone is “black, blacker or blackest.” But we DO say that people are “overweight,” “fat,” “obese” and “morbidly obese.” (I guess you have to find your slot and try to slide your plump form into it.)

But extra pounds do give you one interesting advantage: you have to commit to the concept that you’re ALWAYS on a diet (whether you are or not.) So when you notice that folks are eyeballing bulbous parts of your being, you can inform them that you are fully aware of your deficiency and are aggressively addressing it with some new-fangled regimen. Unfortunately, there are times that you see the same people again within a three-month period, so then you have to resort to trickery. Otherwise, the more aggressive members will ask you how the diet’s going and the others will look upon you with sympathetic eyes.

This is why you have to learn to adorn yourself in certain types and colorations of clothing, in order to mask the magnitude of your mass. Now, one would think that the looser the clothing, the better off you would appear visually. Not so. After all, if you want to make a beach ball look bigger, drape it in a tablecloth. If you want to make a beach ball look smaller, you must constrict it some way–perhaps in a bag, preferably of a dark color.

So one of the tricks about being a big person is to know that your salvation during seasons of “blossoming” is to have that perfect all-black outfit, which includes black socks and black shoes. If you move to a pattern, a color, or God forbid, a plaid, you will be advertising yourself as the billboard you have become. But simply wearing well-fitted black clothing can convince all your friends that you have suddenly lost twenty pounds.

It’s called adorning yourself well.

If you’re going to be unwise–one of those portly people who insist on wearing current fashion even though it was never envisioned for any size above an eight in a woman and a medium in a man, you must be prepared to be pitied. Adorning oneself is recognizing your weakness and instead of resenting the hell out of it, finding heavenly ways to disguise it. This is why a beige wall always looks better with a picture hanging on it.

The picture doesn’t even have to be very good … just not beige.