Tag Archives: blame

Dastardly

Dastardly: (adj) cowardly; meanly base; sneaking

I don’t mind losing words from the English language. I’m not sentimental.

If for some reason one can’t survive the evolution from generation to generation, it doesn’t bother me.

Yet I am fully aware that the loss of certain terms does leave us vacuous and ill-prepared to deal with what the idea foretold.

The word “dastardly” was popular well before my time.

It started somewhere in the Renaissance and ended post-American Civil War.

But if you listen to the definition, you are granted a tremendous insight on what vices travel together as a gang—and how, in doing so, they generate peculiar and unique forms of evil.

It struck me that “sinister” begins with cowardice.

“I’m afraid to deal with it.”

“I’m afraid of the outcome.”

“I’m afraid it won’t work.”

“I’m afraid I’ll get blamed.”

Once this cowardice sets in, a mean-spiritedness raises its ugly head in a defensive profile.

“Why is it my problem?”

“Why didn’t they take care of it before I came along?”

“Why is everybody blaming me?”

“Why doesn’t he get off his ass and do something?”

Then, once cowardly links up with mean, you arrive at sneaky.

“How can I make myself look good while simultaneously making you look bad, so there’s no doubt whose fault it is?”

So even though we’ve walked away from the word “dastardly,” and nowadays have even substituted “tough” in its stead, maybe we should take a moment to realize that when someone is cowardly, sprouting a mean spirit, they eventually will find a sneaky angle to get their way—and probably make you and me look ridiculous in the process.

 

Coverage


Coverage: (n) the reporting, publishing and broadcasting of news:

 Pretty Nancy is a reporter

Not too tall, but never shorter

Had a microphone in her hand

Journeyed all across the land

Looking for the latest story

One with glory, maybe gory

Painted face looks just right

Working on into the night

Coverage is the game

Finding the blame

Bringing the truth

Without much proof

Deciding in committee

Who we should pity

Steering the report

To escape the retort

Pretty Nancy tells us the news

And tries real hard to steer our views

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

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Cover-up

Cover-up: (n) any action, stratagem, or other means of concealing or preventing investigation or exposure.

 Let me give you an example.

Let’s say we’re talking about the electric bill. Yes—that’s good. A common situation which we all certainly share in common.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

If you’re trying to find out whether your friend, your wife or your roommate has paid the electric bill, it is necessary to phrase the question in such a way that they will not choose to lie because they already feel intimidated by your approach.

Now, you may totally disagree with this, but I have found if you want people to tell you the truth, be prepared that there’s a greater chance that they will lie. So don’t set them up to fib by making them feel stupid or guilty if they tell you the truth.

Back to the electric bill. Here is a terrible approach if you’re trying to find out if your partner has paid the bill:

“You DID pay the electric bill, right?”

You see, for them to tell you that they haven’t, they would have to be willing to be truthful and also survive a wave of anger you have already told them is ready to hit their beach.  Not a good approach if you’re going to avoid cover-up.

A second bad angle is:

“What day did you pay the electric bill?”

Although not as intense, it still connotes that a normal, intelligent person would have already paid, and if they want to come across normal and intelligent but have not paid, they just might have to lie.

I must give you a third, horrible choice:

“The electric bill—that’s your department, isn’t it?”

The demons of being defensive will immediately rise and choke the truth out of your friend, making it impossible for him or her to tell you that it completely slipped their mind.

The only way you can guarantee that someone is going to tell you the truth is:

“I think I forgot to pay the electric bill. Did you pay it?”

You see, now if they didn’t pay it, they join you in being a fellow-delinquent. The pressure is off to shoulder the blame. There’s no need to provide an excuse, since you have already admitted that it was probably your responsibility.

I guess it all boils down to whether you want to find out if the electric bill has been paid, or if you would prefer to listen to cover-up after cover-up.

Until the house goes dark. 

 

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Charcoal

Charcoal: (v) to cook over charcoal.

My dad tried hard.

I didn’t know it at the time–I was a teenager and I thought he was an old man. He was pretty old–older than most of the dads.

Sometimes he would imitate joy over having me as a son. I was usually watching television at the time, and unaffected by his attempts at
conversation. Then, when I needed five dollars to take a girl on a date, he distanced himself from me–protecting his pocketbook.

We never connected. But to his credit, he never stopped trying.

He even decided to go out and buy a really cheap grill from Buckeye Mart, complete with charcoal briquettes and lighting fluid. He was determined to grill hamburgers in our back yard.

He had no experience.

The first half hour was spent trying to figure out how to ignite the charcoal. Then he ended up wasting about two pounds of hamburger because he didn’t know you were supposed to wait until the fire went down. I faithfully stood by his side watching as he told me I would be taking over the grill in just a few moments.

I never did take over the grill.

The charcoal he bought was so cheap it wouldn’t stay lit and the lighter fluid was bargain brand and not very effective.

So at the end of the excursion, my father presented a platter of hamburgers that looked like charcoal briquettes, and some that were still raw.

It was a fiasco.

It would have been fine if he had laughed at himself or admitted his lack of foreknowledge. But he didn’t. He blamed Buckeye Mart for having inferior products and me for not being adequately motivated.

It is not a good memory.

But it does remind me that a sad man–who happened to be my dad–kept trying to please a very bratty son.

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Ablution

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Ablution: n. the act of washing oneself, often used for humorously formal effect.

I just realized that this is a society FILLED with ablution. I think if I shared that in public, I would be greeted with great bewilderment, since most people don’t know what ablution means. But we are either constantly talking about cleansing ourselves to avoid disease and exposure to death and destruction OR we are finding ourselves with our hand in the cookie jar, wanting to deny any responsibility.

I’ve been working on this.

The other day I was eating some delicious shrimp when one of them fell to the floor. I quickly picked it up off the dirty carpet and consumed it. Moments later, a green bean from my plate also fell, tumbling to the same carpet … and I picked it up and cast it into the trash can, fearing that it was dirty.

I realized that I have selective cleanliness.

Also in that same day, I discovered I had made a severe error in calculation. I found myself running a catalogue in my mind of potential causes for this mistake. I came up with a bounty of fruitful ideas to escape my personal responsibility. I realized how easy it was to temporarily grant oneself absolution without ever being guiltless.

You see, here’s the problem–the shrimp was just as dirty as the green bean, or else neither one was dirty. And telling a lie about my own foibles only temporarily delays the embarrassment when others discover them and relish the exposure.

It’s tricky business. Sometimes it doesn’t make any difference. For instance, my tainted shrimp did not kill me. But sometimes you wash your hands of a situation to make yourself free of blame …  and you end up crucifying your best chance for hope.

Ablution

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Ablution: n. the act of washing oneself, often used for humorously formal effect.

I just realized that this is a society FILLED with ablution. I think if I shared that in public, I would be greeted with great bewilderment, since most people don’t know what ablution means. But we are either constantly talking about cleansing ourselves to avoid disease and exposure to death and destruction OR we are finding ourselves with our hand in the cookie jar, wanting to deny any responsibility.

I’ve been working on this.

The other day I was eating some delicious shrimp when one of them fell to the floor. I quickly picked it up off the dirty carpet and consumed it. Moments later, a green bean from my plate also fell, tumbling to the same carpet … and I picked it up and cast it into the trash can, fearing that it was dirty.

I realized that I have selective cleanliness.

Also in that same day, I discovered I had made a severe error in calculation. I found myself running a catalogue in my mind of potential causes for this mistake. I came up with a bounty of fruitful ideas to escape my personal responsibility. I realized how easy it was to temporarily grant oneself absolution without ever being guiltless.

You see, here’s the problem–the shrimp was just as dirty as the green bean, or else neither one was dirty. And telling a lie about my own foibles only temporarily delays the embarrassment when others discover them and relish the exposure.

It’s tricky business. Sometimes it doesn’t make any difference. For instance, my tainted shrimp did not kill me. But sometimes you wash your hands of a situation to make yourself free of blame …  and you end up crucifying your best chance for hope.