Tag Archives: brown

Cocoa Butter

Cocoa butter: (n) a fatty substance obtained from cocoa beans used for a variety of cosmetic purposes

Long before SPF meant anything in the world around me, I was a very white, fair-skinned, blond man who wanted to get a tan.

There were those who warned of the danger of too much exposure from the sun, but it was like they were speaking their concern in a private closet adjacent to a loud dining hall.

Nobody was listening because everyone wanted to go to the beach and get brown.

There was a consensus that in order to get brown, first you had to get red. And getting red meant you had to spend some time with Papa Sun unmercifully beating down upon your pale skin.

Now, I traveled in a music group with two girls. One of these ladies was very health conscious. She rubbed her body with cocoa butter before going out into the blaze.

The other girl used a concoction of baby oil with four or five drops of iodine added, shaken up and spread all over the skin. The concept was that the baby oil would fry you up like a good fritter, while simultaneously the iodine would paint your epidermis.

I chose her potion.

I got the worst sunburn I ever had in my entire life. It was so painful I couldn’t wear pants. I went to a drug store and they gave me some spray–“Solarcaine”–but my skin was so hot and inflamed that the spray turned into little balls of cotton.

I was miserable for two-and-a-half days. But on the third day, I began to turn a little bit brown. So for the entire summer I used baby oil and iodine–as the other female comrade favored cocoa butter.

I got browner and browner. She stayed as white as the Ku Klux Klan.

In the middle of August, I noticed that my iodine–which I thought had melded into my skin–began to flake off–at first, little tiny portions, but then, bigger chunks. Soon I was a combination of white, red sunburn and iodine tan.

The girl who used the cocoa butter called me “Leopard Boy” because I had spots.

I now realize the wisdom of SPF. But for that summer, I was temporarily brown and looked damn good.

I couldn’t have done it with cocoa butter. I needed what my other traveling friend referred to as “Baby-I.”

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Brunette

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Brunette: (n) a person, typically a woman, with dark brown hair.

She was always dissatisfied.

I traveled with her for eight years on the road, and frequently sat in a room waiting for her to complete her make-up in preparation for our gig, as she lamented aloud her displeasure over her hair.Dictionary B

Mainly it was the color.

She was stuck somewhere between a light brown and a brunette–where I believe probably millions of men and women find themselves. After all, when you dump all the colors together and blend them, you end up with some sort of brown.

And we are a stirred-up mess.

We are the obvious benefactors of ancestors who contributed a little bit here and there to make us the inspired receptacles that we’ve become.

One day when my friend was particularly angry at her locks, I suggested she go to a hairdresser and find out her options. I was trying to be helpful.

This launched her into a grueling journey of colorations, dyes, highlighting and even just messing with the tips to create essence.

Every time she looked absolutely fabulous (as she did with her natural hair). And every time she was pleased for a brief season, until she looked in the mirror and began to see the ugly brunette again.

Of course, our society does not help with its emphasis on the “theory of blonde.”

She even tried wigs for a while. But no matter what she put on her head or what color she donned, when she looked in the mirror, she only saw the ugly brown-haired girl.

It’s too bad that we live in a world which preaches the power of individualism as we line up faithfully under a sign that reads: One color fits all.

 

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Brown

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Brown: (n) a color produced by mixing red, yellow, and blue, as of dark wood or rich soil.

Dirt is brown. Actually, more like soil.

Hair can be brown. Some people get nasty and call it “mousey brown.”

So I guess that means a mouse can be brown, although many of them are gray.Dictionary B

Tree bark’s brown. Which means some wood is brown. Some isn’t.

Eyes can be brown. Matter of fact they can be quite attractive when they are, though for some reason we extol blue.

Poop is brown, unless you’re sick or ate at an Indian restaurant.

But when I sat down and thought about brown, I realized that the times I’ve heard brown mentioned were never particularly favorable. Like I asked some guy what color his TV set was. He replied, “Well, it’s kind of an ugly brown, but you’re not gonna look at the casing anyway. You’re going to watch TV.”

Is brown ugly?

After all, if you have a pair of brown shoes, you can’t wear them with black. And they don’t look good with white. You can kind of wear them with beige and darker, right?

What happened to brown?

Was it targeted?

Or did it just try to add too many colors to itself and end up with mush?

Is mush brown?

No–it’s kind of “yellowish.”

Which brings up the term “brownish.” Is that a good thing?

How about brown skin? Does it suffer from the traditions of prejudice?

Or did it just lose favor because people don’t like brown?

 

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