Tag Archives: bulge

Bulge

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Bulge: (n) a rounded swelling or protuberance that distorts a flat surface.

She smiled at the camera and said, “It is very important that you are proud of your body.”

I waited. I paused to see if she would laugh–because I immediately giggled.

I’ve been working for years on trying not to be ashamed of my body, and to avoid the temptation to do so, I do not like to look at myself Dictionary Bin the mirror.

Now, this may cause some thin people who make their living in physical fitness to weep, but I happen to believe that no good has ever come out of anyone standing in front of a mirror with their naked body, admiring.

There’s something beautiful about being aware of your status, lackings and bulges. Matter of fact, I have only one major goal and it’s really quite simple:

I try to diet and maintain my weight so that my bulge does not open a secondary office on top of its friend–because “bulging on bulge” is a real danger. Anyone who’s ever had a bulge will understand what I’m talking about and anyone who’s never had a bulge should probably eat tarantula turds and die.

Well, maybe not die … just spend more time smiling at themselves in the mirror.

And please leave me the hell alone.

 

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Bermuda Shorts

Bermuda shorts: (n) casual knee-length short trousers.

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For the sake of lingering pieces of vanity, I would like to say that I am completely unfamiliar with Bermuda shorts, but unfortunately, I was around when they hit the shores from Bermuda, and shortly thereafter, basically disappeared.

Let me tell you something about fashion: fashion is the latest trend available to those who basically look good in anything.

If you have a bulge here and there, misshapen space or a cluttered cloister, you are very unlikely to ever be comfortable or attractive in the latest threads.

Such it was with Bermuda shorts.

They were knee-length, usually had some sort of odd print on them, and they left the rest of your leg exposed.

When I tried them on, it appeared that some sausage had seeped out of the bottom of its casing.

Not to mention the fact that no matter how tall you may be, when you are chubby you appear shorter. Bermuda shorts helped to accentuate this dwarfism.

I didn’t wear them a second time.

Matter of fact, I might have been one of the souls instrumental … in mocking them off the fashion runway.

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