Bottom

Bottom: (n) the buttocks

Perhaps one of the more unnerving parts of the human journey is deciding to admit one’s silly inner thoughts, hoping that others will be equally as candid–thus creating a giggling fellowship.Dictionary B

Of course, there always is the chance that people will button up their collars and look on you as a freak.

For instance, when I was ten years old, I saw a television program where a doctor proclaimed a man died because he swallowed his tongue.

This scared the uvula out of me. Matter of fact, I stayed awake all night, afraid that if I went to sleep, my tongue would no longer be in my cheek.

I also had a brief period when I was convinced that my lips were too big. I don’t know what brought this on, but I was certain that everyone who met me thought that I had some African-American in my bloodline and that my lips were much too large for Caucasian consideration.

And of course, then there was my bottom. My bottom has annoyed me in many ways. Being a big man, I often thought it was huge. Then I decided it was too flat. Overall, I was concerned about its natural aroma.

Human behavior is so bizarre.

We want to be unique–except for the majority of the time, when we want to blend Because being too different makes us appear an outsider. If for some reason, we fit in, we might become invisible.

So since I never swallowed my tongue, and my lips proved to be quite average, I guess, in the long run, nobody really cares about my posterior.

But I am relieved that we got to the bottom of this.

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Beige

Beige: (n) a pale sandy yellowish-brown color.

Dictionary B

Am I the only weirdo who stops and thinks about God creating people from the dust of the Earth?

By dust, do we mean blowing sand from the desert? Or are we referring to soil?

Either way, God did not make humanity out of baby powder.

What I mean is, tweren’t white.

It’s amazing how Caucasian people came up with the idea that they are superior, considering their lack of pigment and the fact that they don’t resemble the hue of dust.

The first man and woman who were created were certainly darker in shade. A dusty brown.

So even though people jokingly say that they’re going to “go wild” and paint their den beige, and then giggle–actually, if you blended all the colors of human skin together, wouldn’t you end up with beige?

Isn’t our coloration very mediocre and therefore equally insignificant?

Because the beauty of beige is that it refuses to offer enough excitement to dazzle the room. It requires knickknacks, carpeting and wall hangings to bring it to life.

Huh.

So do we.

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