Tag Archives: competitor

Broom

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Broom: (n) a long-handled brush of bristles or twigs used for sweeping.

I know what a broom is.

I have seen one.Dictionary B

I could even identify one at a distance.

If sent into a large room to find it, I would be successful in no time at all.

Yet I really don’t know anything about a broom.

I’ve had one thrust in my direction with belligerent orders to “help clean up.” But I’ve always been a little bit of a loss as to what the correct process is in “brooming.”

I’ve seen people take short, brusque strokes–like they were angry at the floor or infuriated with the dirt.

Then I’ve seen people take long, easy passing with the broom, sweeping up the dirt gently in front of them.

There are brooms that work sideways.

There are brooms that work up and down.

(I guess that’s it.)

But I am a little embarrassed to admit that my “broomsmanship” has been lacking, partially because I’m lazy, but mostly because when I tried to use one, a nearby competitor (normally a female) would snatch it from my hands because I was failing to be reverent.

She’d demonstrate and then hand it back to me, and rapscallion that I am, I would realize that if I could simulate an additional failure, in no time at all she would insist I was incompetent and do the job herself.

It always worked.

I’m embarrassed to share it with you.

But I must be honest–I have no great stories about “brooming”–only being able to tell you that I can identify one.

 

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Ambition

dictionary with letter A

Ambition: (n) a strong desire to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work

Shakespeare was probably right. (I’m sure he’ll be glad to know.)

Ambition, as displayed in the character of Cassius, in Julius Caesar, does not usually lead to accomplishment, but more often than not, a dagger in the heart.

I think it’s wonderful to be ambitious, if you’re not trying to destroy other people or have your heart set on something that belongs to another human being.

That’s why I have learned, over the years, to be ambitious over things that most people have walked away from in either boredom or confusion.

It’s similar to going to the DMV. If you’re there to get a new driver’s license or get one renewed, forget about it–take a number. But if you’re there for a passport photo, you’ll be in and out in fifteen.

So if you’re ambitious about going to the DMV to get your driver’s license in fifteen minutes, you will not only end up dishing in line and aggravating everyone, but you will also end up screaming at the lady who’s trying to fill out your application, which will make her go slower.

Ambitious has two important components:

1. Make sure you go for something that is needed, but not presently being offered.

2. Don’t bitch at life when it challenges you, and questions whether you have the right to own such an honor … of being given the opportunity.