Courtly

Courtly: (adj) very polite or refined, as befitting a royal court.

Avoiding hassle.

Even though I understand that hassle is often what challenges our intelligence and helps us grow, it is certainly natural to try to elude it.

One of the primary ways to do this is to plant, deep within your consciousness, the understanding that everybody in the world has an opinion on how they think they should be treated—and if your approach varies from that, you are opening the door to hassle.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

There are so many social movements discussing how men and women should treat each other, or what is considered racially insensitive, that it is time for forward-thinking people to develop a lifestyle that is purposely innocuous, to aid us in dodging conflict.

Cases in point:

Some people appreciate honesty while other people want you to lie to them profusely (especially when it comes to evaluating their appearance or deeds).

There are those who want to be encouraged, and some who require critique.

And we certainly are aware that some travelers are more emotionally sensitive than others.

I will tell you—the only safe profile is to be courtly.

Yes, if you give the same respect to every fellow-shopper at Wal-Mart that you would offer if you were in Buckingham Palace with the Queen of England, you will pretty well guarantee never offending a human being with your profile.

So, if you walk in front of someone, say “Excuse me.”

If you bump into them, remind them of how clumsy you are.

If both of you come to the checkout line at the same time, let them go first.

And if they ask you how they look in their new swimsuit, defer to someone else who has superior wisdom on fashion.

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Boundary

Boundary: (n) a line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing line

You own the property of the boundary of your skin, with a lease for life.Dictionary B

Only under special circumstances am I allowed to come inside–and then with limited access.

Learning boundaries is really that simple.

Any time I cross your property line, I must do so with a courtly request and an adequate delay, to allow you the chance to determine whether you welcome my visitation.

Whether emotionally, spiritually, mentally or physically, you are truly the master of your own contents.

If we would learn this, realizing that even comments which are tossed off in the attitude of jest are little pieces of trespassing on the sovereignty of another human being, we would not only avoid unwarranted conflicts, but would also open the door to be respected by others who recognize our integrity.

I look for the boundary.

I look for lines in the sand people create which are not necessarily common–just personally requested.

I don’t always end up on my side of the fence, but more often than not, because I err on the side of caution and realize the righteous position that each one of us possesses of our own domain … I become the friend instead of the foe.

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