Contract: (n) an agreement between two or more parties for the doing or not doing of something specified.

Two hours after I wrote my very first song, I was already thinking I needed a contract.

I had visions of Grammy Awards, fame and thousands of record sales to reinforce my sheer joy of being a musician and simply composing songs.

Nothing happened after my first song, but along about my fifth or sixth tune, opportunities did float my way.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

What I learned very quickly, in my Midwest innocence, was that life and death lie in the wording of a contract. Someone saying they want to “sign your song” or “promote your music” does not mean your song is actually signed or that your music will be promoted. Sometimes it’s just means they’re securing that song, in case they want to use it, making sure nobody else can get it.

On occasion, it’s a deal where they plan to use the song but want to give you the lowest possible percentage of remuneration.

But one word always came to the forefront: exclusive.

What that meant was they wanted me to sign a contract saying I would not work with anybody else, while they determined how much they really wanted to work with me.

I grew up quickly.

Even today, when I hear someone utter the phrase, “Well, we need to draft a contract,” I immediately know there’s something they don’t want to say to me—that they want to hide in a contract, in a very small point size and a near-unreadable font.depressed, angry adolescents.

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Artist: (n) a person who practices any of the various creative arts. dictionary with letter A

I was a bit flabbergasted.

The young lady on the television show referred to herself as “beautiful.”

Being the rogue human specimen that I am, I immediately began to look for moles, blemishes and unwanted hair on her personage.

I wanted to hurt her. Isn’t that terrible?

Even though we extol the importance of self-love, personal worth and valuing one’s own being, when it actually turns into words that are spoken aloud, it’s really gross. It is a contradiction in our society which doesn’t seem to be addressed very well by the present thinking.

In other words, we want people to be great; we want people to be confident, but mostly, we want people to be humble.

It is the same sensation I experienced when watching the recent Grammy Awards and hearing people refer to themselves as “artists.” I just don’t think it’s a self-proclamation.

I guess if you want to call me an artist and you’re insistent, I can bow my head and thank you, but at the same time, proffer the notion that I’m working towards that goal rather than having achieved it.

There are just some things you cannot say in life without becoming an asshole. (For instance, using the word “asshole” too much places you in this predicament.)

We are a peculiar sort. We do not like people who hide in the corner in fear, having to be drawn out to offer their gifts.

But if anyone arrives at the party thinking they’re going to be the “life” and insisting on being the focus, we all want to run over and turn off the spotlight.

What is the correct procedure? Here’s what I believe:

Find out what you can do, do it a little better all the time and let the quality of the work speak for itself while you remain silent.

I would much rather be called up than put down.

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