Croggy: (n) Northern English and Midland English dialect for a ride on a bicycle as a passenger.
I’m always looking for the latest statement or question which is even more sad and desperate than the previous one I granted an award to for being most pitiful.
There have been many competitors.
Here are five of my favorites:
Shall we call them former wosers (a blending of winners and losers) until they were displaced?
- “Do you have a bandage I can borrow, because my wound is seeping pus?” (This one held for a LONG time.
- “I’m going to go vote because MY VOTE COUNTS.” (Hopeful, but tragic.)
- “Can I borrow a dollar? I want to buy a lottery ticket?” (Wah…)
- “Does anyone have any suggestions for really bad breath?” (Stay away.)
- “Why don’t people like me? Be honest.” (Can I email?)
As you can see, these are pretty heartbreaking.
But today I think I have found one to rival them:
“Can anyone give me a croggy?”
I now realize this is requesting a ride on a bicycle—not as the peddler, but as the rear passenger.
First, let me iterate that riding a bicycle as a form of transportation may seem inspirational but only until you come across the first hill—or even slight rise in the road.
Then it becomes exercise posing as progress.
BUT…did you hear me?…BUT to ask to ride on the back end of such a contraption, knowing that you aren’t contributing anything but weight and pain to the person who’s pedaling in front of you, has to be the worst position a human being can place him or herself in without having a kidney removed.