Cordless

Cordless: (adj) requiring no wire

Comparing my pioneer spirit using the examples of those who trekked West in the mid-1800’s, I would definitely let you know that I am not one of the people dressed in buckskin, who is way out in front of the Conestoga Wagons, killing buffalo and tracking beaver.

That’s not me.

Honestly, you probably would not find me in the first wave that hopped onto those wagon-beds and went off into nothingness, with nearly nothing in their possession, believing they were going to turn it into something.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

In the realm of being adventurous, I would probably be the schoolmarm. In other words, once others had gone ahead, tracked the buffalo, taken their wagons and opened up a town, I would be willing to join them to teach their children the ABC’s.

I prefaced this article with this example because I want you to understand that when cordless, or wireless, microphones became available, I did not buy one nor did I want to use one.

I heard horror stories.

You know—stuff like buffaloes trampling frontiersmen.

I heard these microphones didn’t work well, the sound went in and out, and even one strange tale about someone nearly being electrocuted.

I waited.

I persisted with cords in my microphones until one day, in a store, a guy explained to me that he had come up with a system to turn any microphone into a cordless one simply by attaching some ugly-ass apparatus on the bottom.

With my schoolmarm enthusiasm, I got one.

I used it in a production—and it lived up to all of its hype, and also manifested all of its demons. Even though the small-town audience was very impressed at seeing a cordless mic at work, when the play was through, I sold it.

I may have to revise my statement.

Maybe I’m not as wild and crazy as I think. Perhaps I am not the schoolmarm.

In the vast spectrum of the American Western, I would probably be the town undertaker.


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Armpit

dictionary with letter A

Armpit: (n) 1. a hollow under the arm at the shoulder 2. a place regarded as unpleasant

The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

In like manner, the stinky armpit gets the deodorant.

As I thought about “armpit” this morning, I realized how important this little crevice is to my thinking. Matter of fact, if you consider your cleansing habits, the armpit vies for preeminence with only one or two other parts.

And we all have horror stories of either forgetting to treat this area, ending up with a smelly mess, or spending the day curious if our adventures in washing proved to be successful.

It is a perfect example of the age-old wisdom that the less valuable parts of our being often get the most attention.

Matter of fact, in the throes of passion, as a symbol of true devotion and excitement, one might actually lean up and kiss that part on another human being to express total devotion and a complete lack of fear.

I know it has become popular to label certain regions as being the “armpit of the earth.” But at least in the case of the actual armpit, some well-placed cleaning up and deodorizing can render the location not only habitable, but sometimes pleasant.

There are people I have met who consider the armpit to be an erogenous zone. Yes, for a small area of skin that hides out between the arm and the torso, it has been given an awful lot of attention and special treatment.

Oh, that we all had such an agent to represent us.

Of course, maybe we do … if we’re capable of raising such a stink.

 

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