Words from Dic(tionary)

Allude: (v) suggest or call attention to; to hint at

I don’t think there are a whole lot of things that frustrate and aggravate me to the point that I become a cantankerous old fool. Maybe I’m too prideful, but I think I’ve overcome getting upset over simple inconveniences.

But I will tell you–I absolutely hate it when people try to hint or allude to what they want instead of coming right out and asking for it.

Matter of fact, one of my sons, in his early years, had the history of doing this practice so much that whenever we get together we joke about it. When he was in high school, if he came in the room and I was eating ice cream, he would start by questioning me about the flavor or comment on how “lovely it appeared in the bowl.”

Obviously, he wanted some. But because it pissed me off that he was alluding to asking for ice cream, I played stupid and pretended I didn’t understand–which made him allude even more.

Having counseled many married couples over the years, I will tell you that the most common reason for the demise of a relationship is when people begin to believe that they have asked for something, but never really did. Just hinted at it, and assumed their partner picked up on the points.

• There’s something powerful about the spiritual notion of “ask and ye shall receive.”
• How about this one? “You don’t have it because you haven’t asked for it.”
• Or a third: “Enter boldly and make your requests known.”

I don’t know whether we’re afraid of hearing a no, or if we just think we come across humble when we skirt the issue, trying to make it someone else’s idea to be generous.

But in the long run, human beings admire clean much more than they do the little escapades we attempt in order to avoid the simple process of making a request.

If you’re ever around me, don’t allude. It turns me into my mother and father … who could occasionally be of the grumpy sort.