Tag Archives: invitation

Curry Favor

Curry favor: (v) to seek to advance oneself

“All you have to do…”

I do believe I’ve heard them all.

I’m talking about those suggestions given by well-meaning souls to help place you in a position where you will be able to curry favor and …

  • Get the job.
  • Date the girl.
  • Secure the prize.
  • Win the position.
  • Or just garner an invitation.

I will be honest and tell you that I have followed much of that advice from time to time, having no reason to reject it.

I wanted to be “inside” something that presently was forbidden to me.

If I needed to use flattery or even a certain amount of deception, I was up to the challenge.

You know what I discovered?

I didn’t curry favor—I curried acceptance.

The favor was much more difficult to get.

But to simply be included—get a number, let in the door or granted a meeting—does allow the philosophy of “all you have to do” to pay off.

But if your intention is to make an impact, leave a lasting impression, advance a theory or establish yourself within the framework, then all the suggestions given to you to gain acceptance will falter.

For they never grant you the focus you need to be successful.

Weak people want to hear how good they are.

Strong people want to learn how to overcome their weakness, which they will often hide.

If you want to curry favor, you must:

  1. Help.

An obvious action of offering something that brings improvement.

  1. Give.

Take something of yourself and present it to assist a cause without trying to barter a deal.

  1. Listen.

Before you assume you know what to do, give ear to the sounds in the room so you can alter the negative and introduce the positive.

  1. Stop pushing. Carry.

Don’t try to promote yourself. Instead, carry some of the burden and make yourself immediately valuable to those who are weary.

We often have a mistaken idea that being nice or tough will get us in the door.

What actually opens the door is being kind and persistent.

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Balloons

Balloon: (n) a brightly colored rubber sac inflated with air and then sealed at the neck, used as a children’s toy or a decoration.Dictionary B

Merrilee was one of our high school cheerleaders.

If you’ve forgotten, holding that position is similar to being a goddess. So an invitation from Merrilee to come to her home and participate in any activity whatsoever was a shortcut to social Nirvana.

Merrilee was having a birthday party for her friend, Judy. She contacted me to come over and help her blow up balloons. It crossed my mind to tell Merrilee that I had never blown up a balloon before, but fortunately I caught myself before committing high school cultural suicide.

So I went out, bought a small package of balloons from the local five-and-dime, sat in my room and practiced. I actually reached a point where I was able to get to the first stage of balloon-blowing-up–what one might call “the initial plumping.” Reaching that plateau, it gets a little easier.

But you see, here’s the problem: I practiced too much.

It was a hot day and by the time I got to Merrilee’s house, I was already light-headed from balloon inflation.

She smiled at me and said, “I know you’re going to be the best at blowing these up.”

My chest puffed out so much that I was sure she saw it, so I grabbed balloons and started blowing.

I wasn’t even ten minutes into the process when I became so dizzy that I thought I was going to pass out. I broke out in a cold sweat. I knew this for a fact–whatever happened, I needed to make sure that I remained conscious.

Apparently, I was beginning to turn “shades of ill” because Merrilee asked me, “Are you alright?”

I wasn’t, but reassured her that all was well. I started gulping big, deep breaths, which seemed to help my lightheadedness.

I thought I was about to escape the moment, when suddenly, uncontrollably, I threw up.

It was an unplanned vomiting, which I certainly would have stifled if I could. Fortunately we were outside and I ended up merely decorating the grass.

A pall fell over the gathering. At length, Merrilee said, “O-o-o-0-h.”

That was it.

Everyone jumped away, and it was agreed by a consensus of the conclave that I needed to go home.

I did.

It took a solid month for people to stop kidding me about the balloon escapade, and truthfully, to this day … I don’t know if it totally has been scoured from their minds.

 

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Back Burner

Back burner: (v) to postpone consideration of or action on.Dictionary B

I think I will share with you a little secret–maybe not so much a secret as a piece of true magic.

It is the blessing of inviting things into your life instead of merely accepting them.

If you don’t learn to do this well, you will find yourself shoving great intentions and inspiration to the back burner of your stove and being forced to quickly make macaroni and cheese on the front burners every single day.

I think it may be the key to joy–being able to invite situations into your space instead of having them linger at the borders of your feelings, demanding entrance.

I meet people every day who have a novel stuck in their back closet.

Many of them have a horn they used to play, that they always meant to get back to.

And countless numbers envision a trip which has been put on hold for years because of budgetary concerns.

This is why we came up with the infamous “bucket list,” which we supposedly pursue after we’ve been given a terminal diagnosis and we have so few months left that we finally get down to the business of living.

I am repulsed by the idea of a bucket list.

I have set my course to invite possibilities into my soul instead of being kidnapped and held for ransom by responsibilities.

But how do you do it?

  1. Discern the signs of your times.

Long before foolishness arrives, it threatens by showing a little bit of its potential stupidity. Identify what has proven to be inefficient and get away from it as soon as possible, even if others insist it “only needs a few more tries.”

  1. Be picky about invitations.

Don’t allow yourself to be pressured into joining the gang.

  • Bad ideas generate a mob.
  • Good ideas stimulate a membership.

So if you’re looking for evidence of what is worth pursuing, stay away from the mobs and look to the wisdom of those individuals who are more selective in their participation.

  1. Choose based upon your dreams.

If something is completely out of the realm of what you envision to be the fuel for your life, don’t pump it into your gas tank. Even if it has promise, finance or gives you appreciation from others, if it is contrary to your vision, it will cause you to perish.

I never back burner that which stimulates my heart … but I am more than willing to take contrary views and unnecessary tribulation completely off my stove.

 

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