Anne, St.: traditionally, the mother of the Virgin Mary, first mentioned in the apocryphal gospel of James.

“Hey, mom. I’m pregnant.”

These are words that the normal mother is delighted to hear if her daughter is married, well-settled and has an adequate bank account.

But when your daughter’s about fourteen years of age, unmarried and comes to you with a tale of being overshadowed by the Holy Spirit and impregnated by some sort of spiritual energy from the Cosmos, you have a dual problem.

• First, you know she’s a liar, right?
• Second, you’re pretty sure she’s crazy.

Now, the two are not mutually exclusive. It’s safe to say that most liars are a little crazy and a good portion of crazy folk indulge in lying. But neither prospect is pleasing to a mother who is trying to gain a sense of well-being in her later years by being proud of her daughter and future progeny.

I wish we knew more about this woman named Anne. Was she a predecessor of those who learned the secret of parenting, or did she reject her daughter and follow the path of acceptability?

Did Anne decide to make a strong stand to defend her daughter, or did she work on the funeral garment Mary would wear after the stoning?

All I can tell you is that there are three things a good parent must balance to make sure that both support and righteousness win out:

1. My son or daughter, I love you no matter how weird you are.
2. Can we have a conversation about what you’re going to do with this weirdness?
3. As we arrive at a conclusion, I will stand by you no matter what.

Yes, parenting is a great balance between accepting choices and challenging your child to better results. If you tip one way or another, you create a mediocre or an angry offspring.

It’s safe to assume that if St. Anne was really the mother of Mary, who was the mother of Jesus, that she must have done something right.

And if the only thing you ever do right in your life is to make sure that you do not single-handedly screw up your kids … you’ve had a pretty damn good journey.

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix