Atlas: (n) a book of maps or charts

My traveling companion is not cleared for maps.

Whenever I get the coinage together to contact Mr. Rand and see if he can get together with Father McNally and make me a paper traveling plan for my journeys, I then have to take that gift and place it in the hands of a woman who finds innumerable ways of mutilating the offering.

It’s probably because she uses the map so much, but in no time at all, they’re dog-eared, ripped, chewed up and even sometimes have pages missing, making Old Glory consist of 41 states.

I have comically thought to myself how dangerous it would have been for her to be on the Santa Maria with Columbus, as he requested a guiding chart to get him to his destination, to have her hand him a gnawed page of parchment with missing pieces.

Perhaps we would all still be in Europe and the American Indians would be hunting buffalo … if my partner had been the cartographer for Christopher Columbus.

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix