Atlas

Atlas: (n) a book of maps or chartsdictionary with letter A

My traveling companion is not cleared for maps.

Whenever I get the coinage together to contact Mr. Rand and see if he can get together with Father McNally and make me a paper traveling plan for my journeys, I then have to take that gift and place it in the hands of a woman who finds innumerable ways of mutilating the offering.

It’s probably because she uses the map so much, but in no time at all, they’re dog-eared, ripped, chewed up and even sometimes have pages missing, making Old Glory consist of 41 states.

I have comically thought to myself how dangerous it would have been for her to be on the Santa Maria with Columbus, as he requested a guiding chart to get him to his destination, to have her hand him a gnawed page of parchment with missing pieces.

Perhaps we would all still be in Europe and the American Indians would be hunting buffalo … if my partner had been the cartographer for Christopher Columbus.

 

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Anti-American

dictionary with letter A

Anti-American (adj): hostile to the interests of the United States; opposed to Americans.

If you will allow me to characterize an entire nation in the context of the growth spurt of an average human being, I would put forth that our country is presently in the midst of a seventeen-year-old, bratty, rebellious snit.

Anyone who’s had children and endured the pangs of adolescence will be familiar with the sneering comment coming from your teenage child: “It’s my life. It’s a free country. And if you love me, you’ll support me in my decisions.”

Honestly, we did not become a great country through finding a contortionist’s trickery to kiss our own ass. Our greatness is punctuated by the times we have discovered the fallacy of our own practices and pursued avenues to build a highway to better understanding.

To arrogantly insist that every suggestion that America might need to make some sort of constructive course correction is an attack against our nation is nothing short of high school insolence.

Here are three things I know about my country, I love about my country, and therefore insist that my country continue:

1. We believe in giving.

The minute we start thinking that we are too generous and therefore should take more, we will become the latest dinosaur.

2. We are a free country and therefore capable of changing our mind to better solutions.

I am sick and tired of having the Constitution presented as a docile, stagnant document. It has so far been amended twenty-seven times, and certainly shall be again.

3. We have stated on paper that we believe “all men are created equal” and that no one is better than anyone else.

Even though we’re catching up with our own high-sounding ideas through a bit of painful implementation, we have taken the bold step of declaring an eternal truth.

As long as these three principles are pursued by my nation, I will applaud and sprout a tear or two when Old Glory comes marching by.

When we retreat from them through cowardice or lethargy, I will be in the front of the protest, demanding we return to our standards … and risk being called anti-American by the lazy and ignorant riff-raff.  

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