Words from Dic(tionary)

Ahoy: (exclam.) a call used in announcing the sighting of land from a ship.

Perhaps if I had lived during the time of the Spanish Armada, I would have appreciated the word much more.

Even if I had been an extra in a Gilbert and Sullivan opera, like the H.M.S. Pinafore, this term would have had great significance.

But the word “ahoy” to me, only conjures an association with chips–a delicious cookie I never purchase anymore for fear of overdosing, and being found dead in a puddle of my own milk.

Yes. “Ahoy” has been ruined by Nabisco. Chips Ahoy.

It is not a word of salty brine and billowing sails, but rather, cookies lined up, carefully broken in half to create dipping possibilities in my every-clumping milk products.

It hardly seems fair. And I really can’t recommend it.

I think we have to stop with the word “ahoy” and cease to taint perfectly good units of the language by limiting them to the consumption of food products.

• For instance, I’m against “Alleluia Crackers.”
• I don’t think we should manufacture “Jesus Hotdogs.”
• And it is completely out of the question to put on tap “Loyalty Beer.”

Is there nothing sacred?

So my apologies to those who have sailed the seven seas, but my “ahoy” has to come in chocolate bits … or maybe even peanut butter.