Tag Archives: Parthenon

Acropolis

Words from Dic(tionary)

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Acropolis: (n.) a citadel or fortified part of an ancient Greek city, typically built on a hill; in Athens, the Acropolis contained the Parthenon and other notable buildings, mostly dating from the 5th century BC.

I would not have enjoyed being a Greek.

First of all–it’s the tunic.

On occasions when I journey for a long period of time, or when I’ve eaten a large pastrami sandwich, my ankles can swell. So there I’d be–wearing this little dress, with hairless, fat calves–and cankles. No way to disguise it with socks and shoes. See what I mean?

And then there’s the design of the tunic itself. Didn’t they kind of blouse at the top? Which would transform me from appearing burly to seeming buxom.

I don’t think I would have liked Socrates, Aristotle and Plato, either. I do like to get into philosophical discussions, but I tend to mingle them with intervals of silliness, including child-like voices, gurgling sounds and Loony Tune impersonations. They probably would have found this annoying.

And I don’t think I would have fit in to the high sense of society that existed on the Acropolis with the Athenians. Because high-brow conversations give me the feeling that I’m trying to be something that I’m not, and the end of that journey is always deception, inevitably exposed.

I’m not so sure I would have agreed with the concept of a “pure democracy” either. Even though in America we tout the beauty of “one man, one vote” and the majority rule, I have too often seen the majority being not only wrong, but also devious and destitute of spiritual insight.

Sometimes truth trickles down to the minority, who sanctifies it through their pain until such a time that the voice of reason can be heard.

No, I don’t think I would have fit into the Acropolis. Could I even have climbed it? It certainly would have taken me most of the morning.

And when I got there, instead of being a writer, a family man and a fun-loving guy, I would probably have been deemed … a Greek geek.

Abroad

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Abroad: (adv.): 1. in or to a foreign country or countries: we usually go abroad for a week in June 2. in different directions; over a wide area: the seeds were scattered abroad.

I always wanted to say “abroad.” Unfortunately, you must have a certain amount of money, clout and look good in an Ascot to be able to mutter the word. I once tried wearing an Ascot, but it ended up looking like I had tied a fancy piece of cloth around my neck to cover up an ugly goiter.

“Abroad” is one of those words people used when I was a kid to refer to countries that were not nearly as freedom-loving as America, but had much prettier stuff. It amazed me that the United States was the greatest nation on earth but you had to go to Greece to see the Parthenon, Paris to check out the Eiffel Tower and London to hear Big Ben ring his chimes.

Maybe that’s the whole problem–we settle for mediocrity in our own lives while maintaining comfort, but yearn to go “abroad” to check out the really cool stuff. I don’t know when “abroad” became “overseas,”  or then changed to specifics like Europe, Africa, Australia.

But I still think if I ever became wealthy, I would be tempted to rub it into people’s noses by telling them I was going to the ambiguous nation of “abroad” so as to make them wonder for a longer period of time, exactly how exotic my destination might be.

I did try it once. I was going on a trip to Toronto, Canada, and informed some friends that I would be out-of-pocket for a few weeks because I would be “abroad.” Looking at me like I had just registered a really loud belch, they inquired exactly where “abroad” was going to be.

I wanted to lie. I really wanted to make up some country that none of them would be familiar with, but frightened to question lest they appeared ignorant. But my nasty penchant for telling the truth, mingled with my lack of creative spontaneity, caused me to blurt out, “Canada.”

They all thought this was hilarious. For after all, EVERYONE knows–Canada is not abroad. It’s attached.

There’s the rule. You can’t say you’re going abroad if where you’re going is hooked to your homeland.  So “abroad” is anything that requires you cross a body of water.

And I think that would mean an ocean instead of a creek.