by J. R. Practix

Abandon: v. 1. to give up a course of action, a practice or a way of thinking completely

2. to cease to support or look after; to desert, or to condemn someone or something by ceasing to take an interest in or look after them.

3. (a) to leave a place, typically a building empty or uninhabited with no intention to return; (b) to leave something, typically a vehicle or a vessel, decisively

4. n. complete lack of inhibition or restraint, i.e., phrase “she sang with total abandon”

Well, I can tell you right now–I am in a mood to give up, completely walk away from and to vacate any desire whatsoever to ever use or be part of the name “Don” again.

Yes, I do believe it is time to have a ban on Don.

I don’t like the name. I think it’s because, as a youngster, I was greatly influenced by Looney Tunes. For instance, I also don’t favor the names Bugs, Daffy, Goofy, Porky or even Sam (makes me think of Yosemite). These names are ruined forever and Don is undoubtedly associated with Donald duck.

I just had to work too hard to understand him, and then–when I finally did understand him, he was always saying cranky, cantankerous things which did not add to the plotline of the episode or to my own personal sense of well-being.

It’s unfair, I know. But when I find out that someone is named Don, I only give them about a 63% chance of entering my mind successfully. I’m sure Donald O’Connor is a great actor but he doesn’t even create a blip on my screen. Do I need to comment about Donald Trump?

I also feel greatly put off by Don Juan, who appears to be the kind of guy who would steal your girlfriend, even though he already had seven. Yes, I am in a mood to put a ban on Don and to abandon all mentions of that name or associated pseudonyms.

It’s one of those unrighteous bigotries which I would normally be ashamed to share, but since I am already in the less-acceptable realm of the blogosphere, it seems rather normal to be obtuse.

Perhaps you have names you don’t like. Honestly, Wylie will always be Coyote to me. I hate to admit I am so influenced by my youthful escapades, but as we are what we eat, we probably have all become what was meant to entertain us.

So here’s to a ban on Don.

And may we all learn to abandon all spooks that haunt our past with memories of fearful characters.