Tag Archives: robes

Accoutrements

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Accoutrement: (n.) additional items of dress or equipment, or items carried or worn for a particular activity: the accoutrements of religious activity.

Isn’t it fascinating that the definition of accoutrements immediately goes to religion?

  • What would we do if we didn’t have little knick-knacks to set on the table for our worship experience?
  • What if there weren’t special hats?
  • What if the robes were put into mothballs?
  • What if the bread and wine were not actually symbolistic of the body and blood of Christ?
  • What if for some reason there was a shortage of candles?
  • What if pews were exchanged for bean bags?

Is it possible to have an experience of faith without having an open souvenir stand at the park of religion, where we pick up our memorabilia to confirm that “we went on a brief vacation with God?”

What if faith was really about loving one another? Do you need a cross for that?

What if belief in a Divine Creator was accentuated and exemplified by the expressions on our faces? Would that be better portrayed with sackcloth and ashes?

What if our actions were deemed just as valuable as our prayers? Would we need a kneeling rail?

If we removed all the accoutrements from the experiences of our lives, would they still be experiences–or do the doo-dads make us believe that it’s real?

  • Could we have a God without the Bible?
  • Could we have brotherhood without using a collection plate?
  • And could we feel free from our sins without being immersed in water?

Symbolism is a wonderful process–IF it is a visual confirmation of what is obviously going on in our souls.

But it is just a lousy replacement for how we really feel.

Abbacy

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter AAbbacy: (n.) the office or period of office of an abbot or abbess.

There are so many words there I don’t understand that I don’t know where to begin. So instead of beginning, let me do what most politicians do and just talk about stuff that comes to my mind that I really don’t understand.

My vision of an abbot is someone who wears robes and works in a church. That other word sounds an awful lot like Abyss, which was a really cool movie about a huge water snake coming in, staring at a girl and morphing into her face. (It’s too difficult to explain unless you’ve seen the movie.)

The other Abbot I’m aware of is Bud Abbot. He joined with Lou Costello to form, of course, Abbot and Costello.

I am dating myself to put these names into the article. Most people today would be completely unfamiliar with Abbot and Costello, so to focus in on Bud Abbot would be to double the potential for obscure and confusing knowledge. But for the record–he was the straight man–which I guess, WOULD describe an abbot,right?  Is there such a thing as a comical abbot? I suppose if YOU had to walk around all day in woolen robes, with a funny haircut, consume large portions of porridge and say prayers all day, you might feel like you were IN an abyss.

Which brings us back to where we started.

I don’t know what I’m talking about.

 

Abadan and Abaddon

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter AAbadan: a major port and oil-refining center on an island of the same name on the Shatt al-Arab waterway in western Iran; pop. 308,000

Abaddon: (in the Bible) a name for the Devil or for hell.

A couple of evenings ago, after dinner with some friends, we got into a discussion on hell. It was either that, another piece of pie or trying to figure out how to play UNO again.

During this exchange, it quickly became evident that no matter how theologically involved each person was, the general consensus was that hell was not a very good place and that everyone hoped it would not be as advertised–an institution of eternal damnation. Most people agreed that there are consequences in life.

Now, hell is an easy one for me–and these two words personify it. Anyone who digs a hole in the ground, discovers oil and realizes he are rich–BUT the next notion that comes to his mind is, “How can I get richer off of this?” is pretty much a brat of hell.

For instance, if you follow the story of Lucifer, this was exactly his profile. He was IN heaven–actually holding a good position with a nice office in upper management–and one day, he decided, “I wanna get richer.” That’s why he ended up in the basement, here on earth.

Some oil refinery in Iran, filled with people wearing robes and desert hats, who get together and try, in the name of Allah, to annoy the western world by raising the price on their product, causing great grief to working moms and dads across the world, have, in my opinion, already laid the foundation and built the boundaries for hell.

Somewhere along the line, enough has to be enough. If you’ve got enough crap to buy a golden toilet seat, you may just have booked passage to Perdition.  The only thing that links us to the devilish is when we are not willing to be satisfied with our portion of extreme blessing, but instead want to “own it all.”

So heaven begins here on earth, with those who want to do heavenly things with each other. And hell is also instigated in the hearts of those individuals who are constantly trying to come up with ways to make the lives of others more hellish

I am sure the people of Abaddon would resent my tying them in with the lake of fire. But after all, when you live near an oil refinery, you should be careful playing with matches–especially when you’re sitting near a lake.