Tag Archives: scrutinize

Antiperspirant

dictionary with letter A

Antiperspirant: (n) a substance applied to the skin, especially under the arms, to reduce or prevent perspiration.

“Vanity, vanity, all is vanity.”

Of course, if I were editing that statement, I would probably change it to, “Vanity, vanity–gosh-darn, so much is vanity.”

That’s because I’ve been raised, live and function in a very safe era, in which the selection of our thoughts and deeds is so scrutinized that no one really says or accomplishes much.

My exact sentiments on antiperspirant.

Just like the next guy–or most of them–I don’t like to stink. There are levels of odor which come from the human body which are acceptable, but they must fall in the range between putrid and floral. Finding that balance has created great concern and consternation among the masses, and also profit margin for those who amass a fortune playing off of the insecurity.

And even though we’ve been warned from our youth not to “sweat the small stuff,” when we remove all sweat from the human experience, we overheat and possibly explode.

Yes, sweat is how we cool off.

A dog does it by panting. (I am personally grateful that our Creator passed on that for us. If you don’t mind, I will save my panting for the top of that second flight of stairs.)

Instead, we expel water and salt, which mingles with bacteria on our skin to form a concoction which can smell anywhere from “wet towel” to “skunk.”

But if you remove that process from our biology, we suffer. It is the only method the human has for cooling down the old engine before we blow the radiator cap.

So it is possible to let my armpits sweat just enough that my fleshly unit doesn’t dribble the moisture down my legs, while also requesting that this mini-geyser of fluid remain semi-fragrant, without ending up completely against perspiration.

Yes, I think the antiperspirant is a parable of our times.

We want to perspire.

We just refuse to sweat.

 

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Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

Adept

Words from Dic(tionary)

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Adept: (adj.) very skilled or proficient at something: e.g. he is adept at cutting through red tape; an adept negotiator.

Beware of titles that require follow-up.

I often come across individuals who want to quantify my abilities or value by assessing names or positions to my talents. We all are tempted at times to tout our value by putting some sort of signature on it, which is supposed to communicate our qualification or aptitude.

  • Lieutenant
  • President
  • Senator
  • Manager
  • Father
  • Mother
  • Principal
  • Reverend
  • Husband
  • Wife

Well, the list goes on and on–an unending collage of words that are supposed to scream out our uniqueness, so people will give us respect in the foreground before they check too much into our background.

Matter of fact, without these accolades, we sometimes feel that we’re just human beings, God forbid. But when we insist on such bravado in front of others, we take away the element of surprise, which allows people to surmise our lack of worth based upon our appearance, only to be proven wrong by the tally at the end of our endeavors.

Sometimes I don’t even like it when people ask for a resume. I always hated it in a job interview when the question was posed, “Tell me a little about yourself.” An impossible inquiry. If you stumble or act humble, people will say you lack confidence. If you go on and on about your personal achievements, you certainly will flirt with arrogance.

Yet for some reason the human race is convinced that carrying our “blue ribbons” to the starting line is confirmation that we will win the race.

The beauty of life is also the most frightening part. For after all, what I did yesterday is worth very little if I plan on screwing up this morning–and calling me by some regal proclamation only increases the pressure or takes away any praise I might achieve by exceeding expectation.

Am I adept at things? Probably. But I will never tell you.

  • Tell someone you’re adept at writing and they’ll critique your paragraphs.
  • Adept at love-making? God help you.
  • Adept at comedy? Be prepared for the audience to stare at you, waiting for the funny.
  • Adept at parenting? Watch your neighbors scrutinize your children very carefully.

“Adept” is one of those American words we use to attempt to impress before we actually perform. Sometimes it’s just better to shut up, do the best you can and surprise everybody when you actually have … some game.