Words from Dic(tionary)
Ajar: (adj and adv) a door or other opening left slightly open
“Keep the door ajar.”
We all know what that means.
It’s our way of communicating that what is happening, beyond that which is inside the enclosure, is not private, segregated or secret.
It is also what we were told to do as teenagers when we were in a room with our girlfriend or boyfriend. It was a reminder that at any time, our seclusion could be interrupted by the inclusion of others.
I made a decision a long time ago to keep my life ajar. To think that any of us can get by with hiding our mistakes or foibles is a ridiculous notion. In an age of super-information available at super-speed, it is doubtful that privacy can be attained, so the only thing open to us is to select speed of revelation.
I’ve been silly about it in the past.
- At one time I was embarrassed that I didn’t go to college, but began a family immediately due to my rising hormones, which preceded declining grades.
- I used to be afraid to admit to others how unknown my efforts were and attempted to name-drop to procure respect, which only, in the long run, drew further attention to those mightier than me, whose names I was invoking.
- I used to avoid questions by changing the subject or offering answers I thought were cleverly ambiguous, but actually just sounded evasive and stupid.
You can feel free to attempt to delude the public, keeping your door tightly shut, in hopes of avoiding interference from strangers. But as the Good Book says, there is nothing “whispered in the ear which is not eventually shouted from the housetops.” (By the way, a statement spoken by a fellow who didn’t even have to deal with the Internet—or the NSA.)
So I can sum up my philosophy about “keeping my life ajar” in three quick statements:
- If I’m ashamed of it, change it enough to where the shame is gone.
- If I’m the first one to bring it up, nobody can act like they “got me.”
- Honesty is the best way to keep people off your back, because they relax and then you can actually be more like yourself.
Keep the door ajar. Pretty good philosophy.
Keep your life ajar. Genius.