Tag Archives: tickled

Audit

Audit: (n) an official inspection of an individual’s or organization’s accounts, typically by an independent body.

dictionary with letter A

I have eaten out of the pot and I have owned the pot. I must tell you–I prefer “eating and running.”

The responsibility that comes with finance–especially when it arrives in chunks–is both frightening and challenging to the fragile nature of the human soul.

When I had a lot of money, I felt compelled to communicate that prosperity to the world around me. The quickest way to do that is to buy things–and you can always justify these purchases by placing them under the banner of “improvements.”

But as you probably well know, the trouble with having worldly goods is that the world around you wants your goods.

  • They can plot to steal
  • They can draw up a business plan and try to get you to invest in it
  • Or on occasion, they can push the tax people in your direction for an audit

Yes, there was a time in my life, even though I was fastidious in my records, that I was nervous about an audit. Why?

Because what I don’t know can hurt me. And ignorance of some unknown tax is not considered a passable defense in the world of accountants.

I cannot tell you how relieved I was when about 5 years ago, I walked away from those responsibilities, bringing my life back to the simplicity of gas, food and lodging.

Now when I think of an audit, I get tickled.

Because rather than counting my bank accounts, houses or stocks and bonds, the bean counter would find himself only counting my beans.

 

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Armchair

dictionary with letter A

Armchair: 1. (n) a comfortable chair, typically upholstered, with side supports for a person’s arms. 2. (adj) lacking or not involving practical or direct experience of a particular subject or activity.

There should never be more pundits than participants.

There. I have established a new rule.

Like most rules, it will be ignored in favor of some sort of haphazard pursuit of unbridled freedom.

Yet we have too many people with too many opinions who have too little talent to participate in the matters that are too important.

Last night as I watched the National Championship for college football, I was astounded at how many different people they had conglomerated to voice their opinions on the activities of these barely post-adolescent young men, who have been pushed to the forefront as superior athletes.

Some of these “armchair quarterbacks,” as we often call them, are actually former players. But they all seem to forget a very important fact. Even though I didn’t play football very long, I will tell you something which is never brought up by those in armchairs, be it about sports, politics or life in general:

It happens too fast.

If you expect your training or your brain to be able to come up with some magnificent way to handle the task in front of you, you will be confounded, stumble and make mistakes.

Just as a politician who wants to seek counsel with many people before making a decision always ends up piping in a little too late, any football player who believes he will have time in the middle of the game to access the resources of his brain and come up with the perfect solution for the situation, is going to end up looking foolish and inept.

Life really works with the conjoining of two magnificently unpredictable units: instinct and luck.

And the only way to be successful is to put yourself into enough uncomfortable situations that your instincts begin to turn you in the right direction, and then realize that the choices you make will still require some luck in order to be fruitful.

I got tickled after the game last night when they asked a player what he was thinking “right before he threw that pass.”

The young man crinkled his brow as if he didn’t understand the question, but politely replied, “Well, it was just a play and I played it through.”

Exactly.

America sometimes seems obsessed with the notion that we can educate ourselves into a better world.

Pundits love to discuss, from their armchairs of comfort, how somebody should have done something completely different in a given situation. But the best we can really do in life is to stop being afraid of difficulty.

For it grants us the instinct to know what to do at the right moment, and then step back…and pray we get lucky.

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