Tag Archives: venom

Codger

Codger: (adj) an elderly man, especially one who is old-fashioned or eccentric.

It is not because I keep piling up birthdays–nor that there seems to be a new wrinkle in my countenance.

No, it is the fact that I believe that “codger” is not based on age. Instead, it’s a disposition.

Going through the store the other day, I noticed a fellow–no more than twenty-five years old–who was with his wife and little daughter.

He trudged.

I’m sure he didn’t need to. I’m quite positive that his legs were still filled with lots of power. But somewhere along the line, he convinced himself to adopt the profile of the masses when it comes to everyday living.

I describe that condition as a perpetual visual and emotional proclamation of, “It’s too much.”

  • It’s too much debt.
  • It’s too much crime.
  • It’s too much trouble with the kids.
  • It’s too much argument with my spouse.
  • It’s too much pressure on the job.

Once convinced of this, any individual–at any age–becomes a grouchy codger.

He or she spews the venom of a sour soul, giving up on the possibility of the possible–checking out, absolutely certain that there’s no need to check in.

Now, I will grant you that many old people have also donned this persona in honor of their ancestors, simply to prove they were no better nor worse than their predecessors.

But it seems to me that it keeps starting younger and younger, and considering the fact that we seem to be living longer and longer, it certainly might make for an awfully dreary lifespan.

If you want to keep from being a codger, you have to use both eyes and ears:

One eye on what’s going on, and one eye on the blessing that might be coming your way.

One ear on the complaints that surround you, and the other listening intently for the song of hope.

 

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Cobra

Cobra: (n) a highly venomous snake

Trying to maintain my status as a man of faith, I often find myself wading through some murky swamps of religious jargon.

This has tempted me, a time or two, to drain those swamps and start building my own condos. Yet I know deep in my soul that I have felt guidance, been inspired and in some strange sense, been redeemed.

Yet when I consider the cobra, I become baffled.

I don’t like snakes. I’m not ashamed of that. I don’t feel less manly by admitting it. I think they’re creepy. I think they know they’re creepy.

After all, if your only communication is hissing, your means of transportation is slithering and you choose to bite other people, you may have proven yourself to be unworthy for planet consideration.

Just my opinion.

And this becomes truly, astronomically intolerable when it comes to the cobra. No longer will the cobra stay on the ground, but decides to lift itself up into some sort of unholy erection. Then it flares its head in anger, and spits its venom at you.

Yes–there are spitting cobras.

So even if you feel you stood back far enough, you still could be splatted by the nasty varmint.

I do not know what the purpose of the cobra is. I’m sure it could be explained to me. Maybe they eat tons and tons of rats. But if it were my choice, I would rather find a different way to be rid of the rat population than by introducing a creature which insists on being addressed as “King Cobra.”

 

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Bubonic Plague

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Bubonic plague: (n) the most common form of plague in humans, characterized by the formation of buboes

I suppose I could sit here and rattle off information about the bubonic plague based upon what I know, and try toDictionary B illuminate you on the dangers of a sickness that has not infested the Earth for hundreds of years.

Rats.

I mean–rats, I’m not going to do that.

Or you can assume I mean, rats are what caused it.

And since rats did spread the bubonic plague, somebody eventually stopped the human death toll by increasing the death toll of rats.

Wherever there are rats, there is the danger of sickness. And what are the characteristics of rats?

They hang around foul and vile substances, nibbling on them until they, themselves, become filled with the venom of disease. So when they interact with others, they spread their infection, even though for some reason it does not kill them.

Rats are immune to their own “rattiness.”

So even though the bubonic plague still exists–and I’m sure they have samples of it in laboratories where they study its composition and dangers–there are other rats we should watch out for. These are the creatures who claim to be human, but nibble on nastiness and bite people, inflicting them with indifference.

Let me just say–damn it to hell, people are just not generous to one another any more.

The rats have gotten to us.

So even though it’s unlikely that any of us will get bubonic plague, it’s still a good idea to dodge the rats.

You just never know what they’ve been slurping up. 

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