Brunch: (n) a late morning meal eaten instead of breakfast and lunch.
I hate brunch.
I always have.
“Soup and sandwich” just doesn’t seem to be compatible with scrambled eggs and bacon.
They were brought together by lazy people who didn’t want to get up for breakfast but felt stupid for eating lunch at three o’clock in the afternoon.
So they made up a meal where they could gorge themselves in one sitting, with foods that were never meant to co-habitate, and therefore justify snoozing.
It also ended up being something that many younger folks did on Sunday instead of going to church, the park or flying a kite with the kids. Add a little champagne, fresh produce and you have a fantasy date for anyone under the age of thirty-five.
I know I sound grumpy.
I’ve always been a little bit dour when confronted with people who insist that they are “not morning folk”–when every job in America begins before nine o’clock.
So, dammit–get used to it.
I will even tolerate folks who say they need coffee before work or insist they’re not quite alive until 10:17 A.M.
But somewhere along the line, we have to stop adjusting all of life to our predilection for sleepiness.
Otherwise, there is a frightening possibility that omelettes will fellowship with chicken salad.