Cellar: (n) a room below ground level in a house
I could probably write a large volume of underground stories about cellars. Many things come to my mind.
One particular fascinating and disgusting example happened the Thanksgiving of my senior year in high school.
I had a girlfriend. That in itself was momentous. We had begun our highschool affair and had progressed beyond light petting to flirting with
some heavy petting, moving quickly towards petting at will.
So I picked her up on Thanksgiving evening and brought her over to my home. We stood around for a few minutes, talking with parents, though my mind was on bringing her down to the cellar, where we could make out on a couch normally reserved for the dog. (I wasn’t terribly concerned about comfort nor fragrance–really just availability.)
We had agreed not to have sex in the same fashion that teenagers promise their parents that they won’t ride the roller coaster at Disney World.
Trying to stay loyal to our promise of no intercourse, for which we would have no recourse, we just kind of laid there on the couch, rubbing up against each other ferociously. (I realize that such movement has a street name, but it sounds so coarse and really doesn’t capture the full energy and excitement of the event.)
Suddenly, in the midst of a back–or perhaps it was a forth–she pushed me away, leaped to her feet, jumped on her hands and knees and threw up all over the cellar floor.
I was surprised.
Apparently, the gyrations had disagreed with the turkey and dressing or angered some cranberry sauce.
But I learned something about myself. First, I would never be able to keep my promise to not have sex. But secondly, I found out that I cared very deeply for this young friend, because I got down on my hands and knees and cleaned up her throw-up.
I didn’t enjoy it. It felt sacrificial. But I did it.
She was embarrassed, impressed and touched. I was relieved it was in the cellar instead of the dining room.
I don’t think anybody ever knew about the event that night, when my girlfriend threw up…because apparently she was sick of me.