Champagne: (n) a white sparkling wine associated with celebration

I’ve never convinced myself to spend more than a dollar-fifty on a bottle of drink, so imagine my shock the first time somebody gave me champagne and explained to me how expensive it was. That, along with the taste (and my inability to figure out popping the cork) has kept
me away from what most people consider to be a magical elixir.

When I hear the word “champagne,” I think of the town in Illinois where the university is housed. I know it’s not spelled the same–but that’s where my brain goes.

Being an Ohio State Buckeye fan since birth, I have always feared the word because it meant the Ohio State University team would have to play the Illini.

Illinois just always seemed to have the number of my favorite team, and even in off seasons when it seemed they couldn’t beat anyone else, they always at least threatened to “de-nut” the Buckeyes.

Matter of fact, we are not sure (because my mother was living in a retirement home at the time) but it was shortly after Illinois defeated Ohio State one Saturday afternoon, that my mum had a coronary and died. I am not giving you solid evidence that the game was the cause, but I have taken the precaution to make sure that whenever I watch any game, but especially that Illinois one, that I have fully meditated and calmed my innards.



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