Tag Archives: agree to disagree

Bicker

Bicker: (v) to argue about petty and trivial matters.

Dictionary B

Perhaps one of the greatest misconceptions of our time is the idea that we, as human beings, are actually able to agree to disagree.

We’ve all heard it.

Some impasse will be reached between two individuals and one of them will suggest they cease the discussion, admitting that resolution is impossible, and pretend to accept the opinion of the other person as viable.

We don’t do that.

We might set out to portray ourselves as open-minded citizens, able to tolerate variance of opinion without any retribution, but actually, we eventually fall back on bickering with those who disagree with us, while still, amazingly, insisting that there is no real problem.

  • We pick.
  • We fuss.
  • We cast aspersion on the character of another.
  • We raise our eyebrows when they walk out of the room to connote how crazy they truly seem to be.
  • We giggle to ourselves.

We are dishonest. We pretend the situation is calm, but actually, it’s a fomenting sea.

It is why husbands and wives are well-known for taking cheap shots at each other–bickering–even in the presence of others, under the guise that this is “just what married people do.”

Actually, it is what humans do when they have unresolved conflict they have swept under the rug … leaving a bumpy pathway for future walking.

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Assent

Assent: (v) to express approval or agreement.dictionary with letter A

How do I disagree without being disagreeable and losing the ear of those who might benefit from my companionship?

This particular time in history is baffling. It combines the three worst attributes of humanity:

  1. Too many opinions
  2. Too fragile of an ego
  3. Too quick to fight

When you take those three and combine them in social interactions, what you end up with are people who are constantly offended and constantly on the lookout for enemies to attack.

  • We are not out for common sense.
  • We are worshippers of the common “assent.”

People want me to agree with them or else they want to terminate interaction with me and limit my effect.

On the other hand, if I try to be understanding of another person’s opinion, people from the other camp will brutalize me for being wishy-washy.

Is life about finding out what is true, or is it discovering little pieces of knowledge and sitting around with friends, gently trying to construct a reasonable solution?

I love to give my assent–I want to find reasons to “amen” instead of condemn.

So because of that, sometimes I find myself supporting a conservative approach, and other times in the pursuit of a liberal agenda. This causes me to be considered an adversary by both warring parties.

But I will not lose heart.

Truth never marches under a banner.

It is discovered one crumb at a time until we finally make our way to the bread of life.

 

 

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