Curry favor: (v) to seek to advance oneself

“All you have to do…”

I do believe I’ve heard them all.

I’m talking about those suggestions given by well-meaning souls to help place you in a position where you will be able to curry favor and …

• Get the job.
• Date the girl.
• Secure the prize.
• Win the position.
• Or just garner an invitation.

I will be honest and tell you that I have followed much of that advice from time to time, having no reason to reject it.

I wanted to be “inside” something that presently was forbidden to me.

If I needed to use flattery or even a certain amount of deception, I was up to the challenge.

You know what I discovered?

I didn’t curry favor—I curried acceptance.

The favor was much more difficult to get.

But to simply be included—get a number, let in the door or granted a meeting—does allow the philosophy of “all you have to do” to pay off.

But if your intention is to make an impact, leave a lasting impression, advance a theory or establish yourself within the framework, then all the suggestions given to you to gain acceptance will falter.

For they never grant you the focus you need to be successful.

Weak people want to hear how good they are.

Strong people want to learn how to overcome their weakness, which they will often hide.

If you want to curry favor, you must:

1. Help.

An obvious action of offering something that brings improvement.

2. Give.

Take something of yourself and present it to assist a cause without trying to barter a deal.

3. Listen.

Before you assume you know what to do, give ear to the sounds in the room so you can alter the negative and introduce the positive.

4. Stop pushing. Carry.

Don’t try to promote yourself. Instead, carry some of the burden and make yourself immediately valuable to those who are weary.

We often have a mistaken idea that being nice or tough will get us in the door.

What actually opens the door is being kind and persistent.