Conflict

Conflict: (n) a serious disagreement or argument

When trying to rent an auditorium, I once had the proprietor of the theater say, “Hold on. We have a conflict.”

We were just discussing dates–but he was right. That is what a conflict should be.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

I want something. You can’t provide it.

You explain that to me, and we make other arrangements.

But Mr. Webster seems to think that for a conflict to be legitimate, there has to be a serious disagreement.

I, for one, am opposed to serious disagreements.

I am completely uninterested in adult conflict, which lends itself to arguments, pouting and grudges.

So today, I am determined to change the definition of the word “conflict” to a first-stage discussion which is elegantly handled by two or more mature, kindly, intelligent adult people.

Long before we become entrenched and start throwing grenades across the chasm, it is possible to say, “I think, on this point, we have a conflict. ”

Then conflict becomes valuable. It tells us that the circumstances we are pursuing are not suitable for everyone until they’re renegotiated.

It isn’t standing in the mud of a political party and insisting that if the other side doesn’t comply, they are either ignorant, or elitist.

We have a conflict. It is not insurmountable, unless we want to let that conflict lay around and become aggravated.

Let’s not do that.

Let’s immediately share when something is not to our taste, with the hopes that a simple conversation might render yet another possibility.

And may I say that often that third option is proven to be much better than either yours original, or mine.

 

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Bipartisan

Bipartisan: (adj) involving the agreement or cooperation of two political parties

Dictionary B

Compromise is when one person wants pizza and another desires a hot dog, so it is decided to settle on hamburgers, with the hope that the bun will remind the pizza desirer of his choice and the beef in the hamburger will hearken to the filler in the hot dog.

In other words, no one’s happy but instead, tries to feast on the nobility of negotiation.

Bipartisan is a term that is not used as often in our day and age, mainly because we are convinced of the purity of our motives, and therefore, the divinity of our cause.

Or maybe it’s just that we’re too damn stubborn to sit and listen after we’ve yapped and fillibustered.

But the truth of the matter is, bipartisan is a ridiculous notion put forth by people who spend their day thinking that the world’s problems will be solved by forming an excellent debate.

When one person wants pizza and another wants hot dogs, hamburger is not the answer. It is unsatisfying to both parties and merely provides a surrogate solution, which will continue to be picked at by the participating partisans while they try to get their way.

Truth is never what you think, what I think or even a merger of our thought bubbles.

Truth is something completely erratic, which exists only in the hearts of those who are willing to humbly admit that they do not know what the hell they’re talking about.

Only through conversation can the stupidity of our reasoning be revealed, and then, only through repentance will it ever be abandoned.

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Barter

Barter: (n) to exchange goods or services for other goods or services without using moneyDictionary B

“I really want it.”

This is probably one of the greater phrases spoken by human beings.

Without the passion to pursue some thing or some purpose, we try to conform our tastes to what is marketed as being current or cool. It’s the danger of possessing only money, and not producing a substance through talent.

So we go to the store with moolah, and then we allow the Madison Avenue promotion to convince us of what we need, never achieving a decision to get what we want.

The reason this transformation has occurred is because we have decided that bartering is for third-world countries which grow melons and go to open-air markets to sell them to hapless tourists.

But the truth of the matter is, if I have something you want and you have something I want, we both want something. Therefore, haggling over the price is the entertainment that gets us to the point that we are satisfied with what we’ve attained, and have a story to tell about the good deal we achieved through negotiation.

Otherwise, you go to the store and buy an overly advertised piece of material which has been pre-priced by executives who are looking at the bottom line instead of the pleasure of their customer.

Don’t get me wrong–I’m not lamenting the loss of the bartering system. I just want to make sure that I always get what I want and not what is thrust upon me … because someone ordered too much of it and they’re overstocked.

 

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