Bottle

Bottle: (n) a container with a narrow neck, used for storing drinks or other liquids.

Kids like money.Dictionary B

I suppose you can try to change that.  Good luck.

Actually, the best you can do–so as not to become a personal ATM for your offspring–is to instruct them on various methods they can use to earn small sums of cash.

When my seven-year-old son came to me complaining that he didn’t have funds to buy a toy, I suggested that he go out and collect bottles. This was a time when such an adventure was plausible, and paid off with two cents per container.

He became extraordinarily industrious. In no time at all, he had collected 268 bottles. He was so proud.

So I drove him down to the local grocery store, which had promised to pay the deposit, and let him go in with a  cart, completely packed to the brim.

He was gone a long time. I almost decided to go in and check up on him, but felt he might consider that interfering.

He finally returned to the car with a little money in his hand and tears in his eyes. He didn’t say a word. So I finally asked him why he was so upset.

He shared that the store manager told him that today they would only give one penny for each bottle. He didn’t want to argue with a grown-up, so he accepted his half payment.

We just sat there for a moment in silence. Finally I asked him, “So what do you feel about that?”

The tears avalanched down his cheeks.

“I think it stinks,” he said.

I explained to him that since he felt that way, he should probably go in and make a stand. He nervously agreed.

Being a proud father, I couldn’t miss this. I made sure he didn’t see me sneak in behind him, but I was bound and determined to catch the discussion.

My little fellow was very respectful, but he challenged the manager and said that he had worked very hard to collect the bottles because he had been promised two cents.

Amazingly, the manager decided to stonewall. But as my boy made his case, a few customers came around, listening in on the exchange. One of them took my son’s side, and before you knew it, there were four or five people frowning at the store manager.

He realized he was going to lose more business than the $2.68 he was withholding. So he reached into the drawer, handed the money to my son and told him to be about his business.

I quickly scurried to the car to be there before he arrived. When he opened the door, he had a big, beaming smile.

He learned to stand up for himself–even though there was the risk that nothing would change. The truth of the matter is, if you’re being cheated by a penny on your bottles, you’d better pipe up.

Because bottling up your feelings can leave some nasty deposits.

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Bosom

Bosom: (n) a woman’s chest

Chuckles.Dictionary B

Yes, fond memories of giggling at church camp every time we sang the song, “Rock-a my soul in the bosom of Abraham.”

Three or four of us guys would purposely sing the word “bosom” louder–until a couple of the preachers would move to sit on our row, threatening us with some form of pending damnation.

I was so young that the mention of the word “bosom” could arouse my Southern Hemisphere. And I wasn’t even around girls who had bosoms. But I knew they were in training–bras, that is.

I also found myself staring at the full-fledged bosoms of women who were a little older, but not so old that you felt like a pervert thinking about them. I was twelve years old and I was under the spell of the bosom.

The female bosom is still a symbol of great passion, focus and exaggerated attention.

Maybe it’s because none of us were particularly ready to stop sucking on them when they stuck a bottle in our mouth.

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Babysit

Babysit: (v) to look after a child or children while the parents are out.Dictionary B

Babysitting would be tolerable, perhaps even pleasurable, if you were actually asked to care for a baby. Taking care of an infant might give you loads of time between diaper changing and bottle giving.

But most people don’t ask you to babysit their infant. No, they want you to take care of children between the ages of two and fourteen, who they know could never be left alone because they’re so out of control.

So as a babysitter, you walk in understanding that you’re at the mercy of the parenting skills of people who are so anxious to get out of the door and away from their sprouts that they barely have time to grant you a courteous greeting.

And of course, the little ones save up their worst antics and lies for the babysitter. Here are some popular ones:

  1. “No, it’s true. Mom always lets us have 4 cookies right before bed.”
  2. “We watch R-rated movies with our parents all the time.”
  3. “My mom and dad don’t discipline me. You’re being mean.”
  4. “I’m allowed to wrestle with my little brother unless he bleeds or screams.”

Well, you get the idea.

Kids are humans, and therefore much too intelligent to merely be “tended,” but instead, require corralling and sometimes, restraint. So babysitting is an arduous, fearful, cautious and often thankless job.

Because to get the kids and the mom and dad to like you means that you must be lenient enough that the children don’t have a vendetta against you … and the parents do not feel that the destruction in the house warrants you being fired. 

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