dictionary with letter A

Antelope: (n) a swift-running deerlike ruminant with smooth hair and upward pointing horns, native to Africa and Asia.

Another childhood myth, shattered before my eyes: I now realize the improbability of deer and antelope playing together.

I’ve sung the song. I’ve not only sung the song, I have intoned it with complete confidence.

Home, home on the range

Where the deer and the antelope play

And now, unless this “home on the range” is somewhere in the Serengeti, and some deer got transferred there, the likelihood of such a playtime is miniscule.

Why do they do that to us? Why isn’t there a disclaimer at the beginning of this song that says, “Locales for creatures are greatly exaggerated.”

Did they think that “where the deer and the buffalo play” would have been out of the question?

And just for the record, I’m not so sure antelope would want to play with deer. I think with the presence of those little horns on the top, the antelope would feel superior and would think they were slumming it by playing with the deer clan.

Of course, maybe there is no bigotry in the animal kingdom. Basically they don’t shun one another. If there’s some form of displeasure, they usually just eat each other.

Maybe that’s what we should do. Rather than telling prejudiced jokes, we should just turn cannibal and be more obvious. Of course, I jest.

Similar to the dude who wrote Home on the Range.



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dictionary with letter A

Anorexia: (n) a loss of appetite for food which becomes a medical condition.

I am ill-suited to speak on this subject, similar to a cannibal discussing recipes with Martha Stewart.

I have never abstained from food. I don’t over-eat–it’s just that the idea of food is very pleasant to me, even though sometimes in the middle of chewing it, I realize that I’m getting little pleasure and positive reinforcement out of an experience that has the ability to levy great difficulty to my well-being.

I don’t know what causes anorexia. I’ve read about it. I’ve talked to people who suffer under the condition.

Matter of fact, there are times that I feel embarrassed to be in the presence of someone afflicted with the condition, because my heft might accidentally confirm their fears just through my visuals.

Unlike the anorexic, I am always looking for a mirror that favors me rather than one that points out a little “dab of flab.” I am always justifying the calorie count on some food I desire, to make it seem that it is either healthy or within the spectrum for acceptable consumption.

But I do know this–I do not grow impatient with those who find themselves oppressed by this mindset.

Because I have been around individuals who cannot fathom why I don’t “just eat less” or do something to lose weight, I understand that intolerance is unbearable. It makes me want to run and smooch with the nearest bratwurst.

Even though we do not have the cure for all diseases, and do not comprehend the whys and wherefores of every human foible, we can have the first fruits of compassion.

Anorexia is difficult for me because I find the gaunt boniness frightening and anti-human. But I must realize that the anorexic finds my obesity equally as obtuse and ugly.

Perhaps that’s the secret: to refuse to allow oneself the oversimplification of believing that what one thinks is really the truth … but always allowing for love and tenderness to surpass mere reasoning.

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by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Absolute: (adj.) not qualified or diminished in any way: total absolute secrecy  2. a value or principle that is regarded as universally valid or that may be viewed without relation to other things: good and evil are presented as absolutes

Absolutely valid. Wow.

I was just sitting here thinking about how in my lifetime, I was instructed in a whole bunch of absolutes which ended up being absolutely ridiculous.

As a boy I was told that black people and white people shouldn’t mix because God had ordained the more pale parts of His creation to be enlightened and the darker ones to be servants. Yes, I was tutored in how the Creative Heavenly Father color-coded His human family to make it clear how they should be categorized.

  • This was an absolute. It was wrong.

I was told by my parents and church that rock and roll was “of the devil” and no good could ever come of it because the beat of the music was purposefully coordinated to the heartbeat of the human being so as to stimulate our juices, to make us act like the natives in Africa, who ran around naked, committing all sorts of sins of the flesh. I was a good white boy from Ohio. I didn’t want to turn into a pigmy or a cannibal. So at first I avoided the demon rock and roll–that is, until I sat down and really listened to it and realized that it energized not only my physical heart, but touched my teenage searching one as well.

  • They were absolutely sure that rock and roll was evil. They were wrong.

I was told that divorce was a sin and anyone who committed it and remarried was in danger of hell because they would be committing adultery. Matter of fact, I saw many ministers and politicians who had to abandon their occupations so as to purge themselves of their sinfulness due to the separation from a spouse. But enough politicians and preachers broke the bonds of marriage that eventually a new doctrine had to be brought forth to give retroactive forgiveness for “splitting the sheets”–and now nearly all the churches in America have a ministry geared to those who are no longer matrimonially entwined.

  • This was an absolute–until it wasn’t.

So to be candid,  I’m a little fuzzy on the concept of “absolutes.” I hear people scream them at the top of their lungs today–many of them the offspring of the former “anti-mixing-of-the-races, rock-and-roll-is-hellish and divorce-is-iniquity” crowd.

I think I have come up with a simple conclusion: the only absolutes we know for sure are that we are all human, we should never judge and Mother Nature and God are much better deciders of what will continue to evolve and what the planet doesn’t need.

Yes–I guess I’m absolutely human.  That is the absolute I am comfortable in donning.