Chimpanzee

Chimpanzee: (n) a great ape

“Keeping an open mind so I can claim to have one…”

Yes, that’s me.

I don’t think I’m alone. It seems, in our generation, that being decried for having a closed mind is the worst insult we could sling at someone.
We all pretend that we are very willing to learn new things as we strategically place ourselves smack in the middle of repetition.

Being a person of faith, I got tired of those who are not bent in that persuasion, accusing me of being ignorant because of my insistence on valuing creation instead of adhering to evolution. Actually, I agree with evolution–up to a point.

And that point is the chimpanzee.

The chimpanzee is supposed to be our closest cousin, or some sort of relative. So one day I decided to go to the zoo, observe the chimpanzee, and discover what similarities I had with this non-kissing-cousin. I stayed for a full hour–matter of fact, I stayed so long that I think the little monkey became paranoid.

The chimpanzee seemed to have a great preoccupation with its own penis. It frequently reached down to pull on it, as if releasing it from some sort of prison.

The creature also favored scratching its ass, made unintelligible sounds, and hopped around from place to place with no real destination.

It became aggravated when someone took its food or threatened to occupy its space.

It seemed to glare a lot. (It could have been gas.)

It wasn’t particularly friendly. Of course, that could have been due to the fact that it was in a zoo instead of out on the Serengeti.

It didn’t like its fellow-monkeys, and appeared to be a little chippy, looking for a reason to argue.

It was obviously selfish.

It stopped from time to time–appearing to preen. (At least that’s the way I would describe the self-stroking.)

It was very preoccupied, and most of the time, seemed bored.

I realized I was wrong.

It is very human.

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Chameleon

Chameleon: (n) a small lizard which changes color to match its environment

Did you ever wonder if a bunch of chameleons sit around out in front of Wal-mart, talking away, and one turns to the other and mentions a mutual chameleon friend they have named Bob.

“Bob’s a real human. Always farting in small, enclosed spaces and insisting it wasn’t him. Of course, those humans can’t change colors and disguise their activities.”

 

 

 

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Brilliant

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Brilliant: (adj): very bright and radiant.

In deference to my human weakness, I have certainly downgraded some things.Dictionary B

My needed fifteen minutes of aerobic workout every day is now about four-and-a-half minutes. I literally don’t have the heart to do more.

My 1,500-calorie-a-day diet is open to the idea of 2,000.

And my decision to keep better tabs on my overall health is desperately in need of an overhaul.

In like manner, I’ve begun to use the word “brilliant” a whole bunch. Matter of fact, it’s become my default term whenever I run across anyone who’s willing to venture an opinion and take the risk of the criticism of others, or the possibility of failure.

I understand that “brilliant” used to be reserved for concepts which had weathered the storm of practical application and had come out the other end fulfilling requiremernts. But honestly, it takes a lot of courage nowadays just to experiment instead of standing on the sideline sneering at those who do.

We’ve become a nation of “judgers,” quickly losing anything to evaluate because no one is willing to train to become a participant. If they do, we are so certain of our expertise that we riddle them with bullets of complaints, dragging their depressed egos into shallow graves for internment.

It has become brilliant just to be willing.

It is brilliant to believe things can be better

And it is most brilliant to be prepared to be part of the solution.

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Brace

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Brace: (v) to get ready for something difficult or unpleasant

“I’m not alone.”

This statement is the essence of human sanity.

Being alone makes us lonely.

Lonely causes us to think we’re insignificant.Dictionary B

A feeling of insignificance makes us believe our contribution is meaningless.

I am not meaningless.

But I must understand that common sense, compassion, tenderness, fellowship and faith are often isolated on islands, separated from the mainland by cynical thinking.

Brace yourself.

  • You need to be prepared to be considered an outsider if you’re going to bring anything of value inside.

Brace yourself.

  • People are not going to naturally be kind, but instead, are motivated in a mob mentality, to pursue such wisdom.

Brace yourself.

  • What is passed off as logic is often, within a few short months, considered to be harmful and rejected for its ridiculous premise.

Brace yourself.

  • Look for things that are everlasting, and pursue them with vigor.

Brace yourself.

  • If you aren’t considered a little weird, then there’s no reason for you to be in the game.

Brace yourself.

  • Loving your neighbor may be considered to be unnecessary, irrelevant and unrealistic.

It is time for people who do not view themselves as good, but who desire to pursue good … to do good things.

 

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Bodily

Bodily: (adj) of or concerning the body.

Dictionary B

Every piece of contradiction is held in place with a reverence to a little scrap of silliness that we’re frightened to abandon.

So in politics we accept lying because it is the silliness we believe holds the process together.

In entertainment, we talk about the “bottom line,” preaching the notion that the pieces of art we foster must make huge profits–otherwise they are not worthy of production.

Likewise, we lift high the silliness of “blind faith,” when it is our doubt that makes our spiritual experience rich with discovery and hope.

And finally, this certainly is true when we talk about bodily functions.

Everybody craps, pisses, farts, screws, sweats, stinks and has aches and pains.

But rather than finding the great commonality which might remove a lion’s share of foolish bigotry, we whisper about these bodily similarities for fear of offending those who somehow believe that the One who created us would find such talk “nasty.”

I have nothing against appropriate dialogue in given surroundings.

But as long as we are afraid of our bodies, we will generate a cloud of deceit to hide our human essence.

 

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Big-Mouth

Big-mouth: (n) an indiscreet or boastful person.

Dictionary B

Every human carries around a burden of ignorance which normally can be hidden from view–unless we foolishly expose it.

As yesterday’s word was “big-head,” a condition of having an over-inflated sense of importance which seemingly expands the cranium, possessing a big mouth is the public address system which advertises the brain drain.

I’ve never known anyone with a big mouth who actually knows what they’re talking about.

Because once you discover how much knowledge is available, you are immediately humbled by how little you presently possess. It warrants silence–at least in intervals where surety is unavailable.

But not with a big-mouth. A big-mouth not only is aware of all circumstances, but has taken the time to draw conclusions for you as to how you should feel in any given situation.

  • I have been a big-mouth.
  • I have been a person espousing more credential than I actually achieved.
  • I have been so certain about a piece of information that my fall from the lofty rafters of opinion was nearly fatal.

The easiest definition of wisdom may be, “to study to show yourself approved” … and then wait for someone to coerce the information out of you.

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Be

Be: (v) to exist.Dictionary B

Since we all exist because our parents got horny, we may want to come along and glamorize the story a little bit. Otherwise, we occasionally are overwhelmed by the futility of life, and may even wonder why we were born in the first place.

This demands a certain amount of arrogance.

Since having a baby is so easy that even dumb people accomplish it, we can’t exactly stomp around and claim that we are part of some sort of cosmic eruption or heavenly proclamation.

Finding a “be” is what is necessary to make us content.

And without contentment, we stop being happy, which makes us annoying and causes other people to wish we’d never been born,

I’m not quite sure which is worse–is it my self-doubt concerning my value, or whether everyone around me doubts my value?

So how do you find your be in a C minus world?

How do you discover how to translate a collision of chromosomes into a beautiful, chromatic, climbing scale of living glory?

1. Never think you’re better than anyone else.

Since we all came from an egg, we should all work on being “good eggs.”

2. Don’t be satisfied with your talent.

Use it and multiply it. Otherwise, you’ll wonder why people don’t appreciate you for doing the same thing you did last year.

3. Be aware.

There is nothing sexier or more powerful, intelligent, profitable and viable than noticing what’s going on around you.

If you take these three things and put them into practice, then you have a chance to not only live a blessed life … but to be instead of not to be.

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