Biscuit

Biscuit: (n) a small, typically round cake of bread leavened with yeast

There is a certain comfort in self-deception.Dictionary B

Even though lying to oneself seems to be an egregious error, at certain moments in the journey, it can be as comforting as a swallow of chipped ice on a hot day.

For years and years, I insisted that I did not like biscuits. Matter of fact, I was even guilty of planting the notion that bread was distasteful to my “buds.”

But anyone who followed me around or who was acquainted with my eating habits, would find that I was either the biggest, fattest liar who ever lived, or the weakest, dumbest avoider of temptation.

Especially if someone brought biscuits to the table accompanied by sausage gravy, I would “break down” and have one–which soon was edited, in my mind, to be “one plateful.”

Biscuits are good when they’re hot, very similar to coffee…and women.

When they sit too long, they congeal or get hardened (once again, paralleling the afore-mentioned).

  • I know they are high in calories.
  • I know they’re filled with carbs.

But when they arrive at the table hot, it is very difficult to resist them (once again, quite apropos to coffee and women).

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Banquet

Banquet: (n) an elaborate evening meal for many people, often followed by speeches.Dictionary B

Just yesterday.

After finishing up a successful gig, where I was inundated with the presence of fine human beings and the fortune of good finance, I was ready to celebrate.

I was shocked to discover that I wanted to eat–large quantities.

Then I realized that universally in our species, we reward ourselves for good behavior–or even good attendance at work–by holding a banquet, devouring fattening foods, and patting each other on the back as we listen to someone speak for 34 minutes on a subject on which we all agree, trying to keep from dozing off from the overindulgence in carbs and sweets.

God bless America.

Even though I was critical of myself for wanting to glutton after my success, I had to stop and wonder what alternatives are granted to us for such occasions.

  • I could get drunk. I never have done so.
  • Some people would grab their bong and sit on the “grass.” Once again, not my style.
  • I suppose I could sip coffee and ruminate over the elements of the success. That’s a little too “Mad Men” for me.

Yet I have never heard of anyone exercising or running after such a bounty.

No, I have to be honest–a banquet seems to be our universal answer when we feel the need for self-acclaim.

Maybe it goes back to our Norse roots–when we were Vikings and felt that overeating was required after all debauchery and pillaging.

I’m not sure.

But I will keep you updated.

If I find any good replacement for shoveling food in one’s mouth to fuel the human ego, I will certainly write you … so that we all might have healthier ways to feed our egos.

 

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Agent

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter AAgent: (n) 1. a person who acts on behalf of another 2. a person who obtains information for a government or other official organization, at times secretly

I’ve always been told I need one.

An agent, that is.

Somebody to represent me so I don’t have to represent myself, coming across arrogant, and potentially as a “klutz-in-progress.”

Here’s the problem: an agent wants to make money.

I like money. It comes in handy when the cashier sticks out his or her hand, demanding payment for some treat I’ve procured. But I also have a mission, and goals for propelling a message with what I do. Because of this, the handful of folks I have run across in my life who actually thought they might be able to make money off of me almost always began to trim back the intensity of the ideas I put forth because they felt that in doing so, they would make the project more commercial.

Why is it that we think that telling people what they believe they want to hear is the best way to ensure that they will contribute to the cause or purchase our stuff?

Historically, it’s ridiculous. Everything we use today that is common to us was once certainly out of the market and had zero value. I will agree, it takes time for need to catch up with taste. But the truth of the matter is, evolution takes care of stupidity, excess and silliness, and in no time at all, a new species of ideas has to come forward to replace the extinct, stupid ones.

For instance, we can make a fuss about eating fat grams and carbs, but honestly, people will eventually devour more fruits and vegetables or they will die off like the dinosaurs. (I digress, Back to the agent…)

So in lieu of finding that perfect little weasel or weaselette to represent me, who has two eyes on the bottom line and one nose in the air over the purity of the concept, I have discovered friends who join me on my journey, and for some reason or another, find pleasure in chasing dreams through the wilderness of life.

  • I will probably never get rich from being enriched.
  • I probably will never get famous by pursuing ideals that some people would find infamous.

But I’m having fun. And I have discovered that if you’re enjoying yourself, those who have not given up on life and are still willing to have a child-like heart ,,, will come out and play.