Damage

Damage: (n) injury or harm that reduces value or usefulness

Hello, stranger.

Pardon me, I don’t know your name.

I’m not really trying to introduce myself. More or less, I just want you to understand my position.

I’m not sure if I would be gregarious even if the option were available to me. Since you are unfamiliar to my world, I feel compelled to go slowly—perhaps stop.

It’s nothing personal.

I see you’re a little put off and perhaps don’t understand my misgivings, but that’s because you haven’t lived in my world or my time, surrounded by a topsy-turvy environment, nurturing terror.

There are blessings.

But as people, both religious and secular, will concur, the trials and difficulties greatly outweigh the payoffs.

It may seem like a negative way of looking at one’s lifespan, but still, all in all, it is safer to embrace caution and to ignore any temptation to take a risk by pursuing new relationships, new friends, ethnicities or environments.

Understand?

Haven’t you been hurt?

Healed of the wound, the scar and internal blistering is still sensitive.

Is it not nature’s way—to give us a constant reminder of our foolishness, our sins and our naivete by leaving behind bruises and discoloration?

Perhaps you’re a fine person.

Let me rephrase that. I don’t know you’re a fine person. That’s why I must treat you as if you’re not. I simply can’t afford to take on any new conflicts.

I have damage.

It has been addressed, discussed and I suppose might seem covered by the grace of the Divine. But still, it quietly lies within me, warning me of the many troubles of those who wander too far from reclusion.

Perhaps there will be a day when you will be better known to me or my damage will once and for all be contained.

Perhaps not.

Here is what I see:

After meeting thousands of people, we eliminate all the comers to two or three we claim to hold dear, but still maintain our intimacy at arm’s length.

Crash

Crash: (n) noisily breaking into pieces

 Each and every one of us is the survivor of a crash.

Ironically, most of us don’t exactly remember the point of impact. It is not the horror of the event that strikes terror in us. It is the aftermath that haunts our souls.

The treatment.

The recovery.

The lingering, chronic pain.

The unanswered questions.

The insecurity that such a disappointment could happen again.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

We become protective. We look on ourselves as foolish because we were gliding along, believing everything was just fine, when we were speeding our way to a disaster.

So we slow down. Caution becomes our nature.

But worst of all, suspicion makes a home in our hearts. We are no longer free to love without having a questionnaire in our minds, needing to be filled out by those who would apply to be our friends.

We are damaged.

We’ve been given insurance—maybe even a measure of assurance. But the crash has left us leery, frightened to freely embrace, interact, experiment or give of ourselves quite as easily again.

So we not only miss opportunities, we turn our blessings—which have been with us for many years—yes, we turn them away at the door in anxiety that they might bring in dangers.

Once the crash has occurred, once the human being has been startled—whether emotional, spiritual, mental or physical—the rest of the journey is about regaining the childlike heart that allowed us to run breathlessly, without intimidation, before we were so rudely interrupted. 

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Bungee Jumping

j-r-practix-with-border-2

Bungee jumping: (n) the sport of leaping from a height while secured by a long nylon-cased rubber band from the ankles

Two.

I only need two reasons to chase me away from doing something.

Three.

Generally speaking, I have to have three reasons to proceed.

You may think I’m overly cautious, but it has prevented me from pursuing trends, fads and “hip stuff” which was later proven to be either erratic or deadly.

So when I see the word, or phrase in this case, “bungee jumping,” I put this idea into practice.

I start looking for the two reasons not to do it. And just to be fair, I search for the three reasons to pursue it.

Let’s look at the three reasons I might want to take a flying leap:

  1. To impress people with my courage
  2. To see firsthand how strong these bungee cords really are
  3. Gee whiz–forgive me. I’ve run out of positive reasons.

Now, let’s look at the things that might prevent me from strapping on:

  1. I have a rubber band tied to my feet. Now, I personally have viewed a little girl putting her pony tail together, applying a rubber band and seeing it break in her hands. Here’s my thought: if a little girl can break a rubber band in her hand, they may not be reliable, no matter how thick and sturdy they appear.
  2. This was difficult, because ten different objections wanted to take the second position.  But after careful consideration, I decided on:

Bungee jumping is head-first.

So not only are you relying on a rubber band to sustain your weight from what would have to be considered a fatal fall, but if it doesn’t, you’ve decided to confirm that your brains are bashed in first.

There are some folks who think they are superior because they’re daredevils.

But keep in mind … at least half of the word “daredevil” is a reference to Satan.

 

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Bland

Bland: (adj) mild or insipid.

Dictionary B

It’s a choice.

Although there are probably individuals who would strongly disagree, our journey in life is basically a decision on whether we want to pursue the absence of excitement or the presence of turmoil.

The minute we try to chase anything down, it comes with a price. Shall we name it “unpredictable?” Every dream, every wish, every pursuit arrives with a level of chance that is certainly frightening if you fear losing control.

On the other hand, subtracting things from your experience to guarantee purity, solemnity or caution leaves one unfulfilled.

Bland is when we decide that all the recommendations for making something spicier sound like they would lead to indigestion.

 

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Balk

Balk: (v) to hesitate or be unwilling to accept an idea or undertaking.Dictionary B

I guess the classic phrase is, “He who hesitates is lost.”

I don’t know exactly what that means. Lost in what sense? I think it would be better stated, “He who hesitates is last.”

Probably the most useless attribute that you can press upon your children is caution.

Yes, I know we want them to be careful.

I know we live in a generation which now believes that bicycle riding requires helmets.

But by the same turn, there is very little in life offering a pocketful of surety.

Whether it’s pursuing a romantic relationship or praying for a miracle, there is a certain wild, abandoned faith that needs to be in place to give us an opportunity to end up as winners.

A calculated risk is fine as long as we don’t use too much time calculating and realize there still will be some risk.

In the same manner, a well-thought-out plan is noble if the “well-thought-out” doesn’t take up all the time which might have been used to enact the plan.

  • Have I ever been blessed by balking?
  • Have I ever received insight by waiting to be informed instead of seeking out confirmation?

As I sit here today, I must say no … and feel that if I take any more time considering it, I would just be balking. 

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