Convent

Convent: (n) a community of persons devoted to religious life under a superior.  

 I’ve never been motivated by fear, even when some of it may have been legitimate.

I cannot stand to be intimidated and frightened just so somebody will believe that I’m adequately aware of a pending horror.

I have been a fortunate man because my journey has taken me every place I wanted to go, and many places I did not envision going but ended up benefitting me.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

I once found myself, along with my family, staying for two days at a convent. It was an experience. Let me tell you the difference between “experience” and “blessing:”

A blessing is something you wish would go on forever.

An experience, though initially pleasant, is something you are overjoyed has an expiration date.

The women living in the convent, serving God, praying, and taking vows of both chastity and poverty, were some of the sweetest, gentlest and kindest souls I had ever met. But after about thirty-six hours, I discovered that their profile and practices were initiated through a fear of being displeasing to their Master—their husband. God.

Over breakfast one morning, I shared with these lovely souls my intention to write a novel on the life of Jesus, with him telling his own story. I felt confident that they would be moved by such an adventure. The intimacy we had shared over the stay made me relaxed, and I was forthcoming about details.

They were shocked.

They were offended.

Matter of fact, they pleaded with me to not write such a book, because it would “be offensive to God.”

Honestly, the last thing in the world I wanted to do was argue with nuns—especially on their home turf, the convent. I listened patiently to their objections, and for the rest of my visit I remained quiet, eager to get back to a world where poverty is not preferable and there is a God who welcomes scrutiny instead of feigning offense.


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Boyfriend

j-r-practix-with-border-2

Boyfriend: (n) a male companion with whom one has a romantic or sexual relationship.

Certain words should have an expiration date, similar to milk at the grocery store.

Without this warning, these phrases can turn sour or just downright comical.Dictionary B

Last week at a stop-off in Battle Creek, Michigan, a seventy-eight-year-old woman introduced her male companion to me as “her boyfriend.”

I tried to be good, tolerant and let it pass, but that little imp in me who refuses to be proper, jumped in and inquired, “Did you guys meet at the malt shop?”

What was hilarious was that she gave me an answer.

“Actually, Starbucks,” she deadpanned.

It seemed right.

Starbucks is the new malt shop … where girls apparently find boyfriends. 

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