Tag Archives: fat grams

Agent

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter AAgent: (n) 1. a person who acts on behalf of another 2. a person who obtains information for a government or other official organization, at times secretly

I’ve always been told I need one.

An agent, that is.

Somebody to represent me so I don’t have to represent myself, coming across arrogant, and potentially as a “klutz-in-progress.”

Here’s the problem: an agent wants to make money.

I like money. It comes in handy when the cashier sticks out his or her hand, demanding payment for some treat I’ve procured. But I also have a mission, and goals for propelling a message with what I do. Because of this, the handful of folks I have run across in my life who actually thought they might be able to make money off of me almost always began to trim back the intensity of the ideas I put forth because they felt that in doing so, they would make the project more commercial.

Why is it that we think that telling people what they believe they want to hear is the best way to ensure that they will contribute to the cause or purchase our stuff?

Historically, it’s ridiculous. Everything we use today that is common to us was once certainly out of the market and had zero value. I will agree, it takes time for need to catch up with taste. But the truth of the matter is, evolution takes care of stupidity, excess and silliness, and in no time at all, a new species of ideas has to come forward to replace the extinct, stupid ones.

For instance, we can make a fuss about eating fat grams and carbs, but honestly, people will eventually devour more fruits and vegetables or they will die off like the dinosaurs. (I digress, Back to the agent…)

So in lieu of finding that perfect little weasel or weaselette to represent me, who has two eyes on the bottom line and one nose in the air over the purity of the concept, I have discovered friends who join me on my journey, and for some reason or another, find pleasure in chasing dreams through the wilderness of life.

  • I will probably never get rich from being enriched.
  • I probably will never get famous by pursuing ideals that some people would find infamous.

But I’m having fun. And I have discovered that if you’re enjoying yourself, those who have not given up on life and are still willing to have a child-like heart ,,, will come out and play.

 

Abolish

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Abolish:   v. to formally put an end to a system, practice or institution

That’s a strong word. Matter of fact, as I sat down and thought about it, the only “abolish” I ever heard of was slavery.

  • I personally would like to abolish fat grams.
  • I would like to abolish calories.
  • I would like to abolish ignorance that tries to pass itself off as comedy.
  • I would like to abolish about seventy-eight pounds off my body.
  • I would like to abolish some of the decisions made by my children in the name of free choice.
  • I would like to abolish some of the choices made by me when I was childish, in the pursuit of some hippie philosophy.
  • I would like to abolish the parliamentary procedure which seeps into our grown-up world and makes us feel like we’re really adult but ends up just halting progress.
  • I would like to abolish political parties so that individual candidates could run, and since we didn’t already know the talking points, we would have to listen to what they had to say.

But none of those are as strong as abolishing slavery was.

How about this one?

I would like to abolish all the foolhardy people who are talking about legalizing mind-altering drugs simply based on economic convenience, with no aforethought about what might cause some young person to become involved with these deadly chemicals, lending themselves to other even more deadly chemicals.

I guess there are a lot of things I’d like to abolish. But the problem with “abolish” is that you find out that merely stating your case is not enough, and as in the American Civil War, you end up squaring off and fighting to the death over the issue.

I’m not sure what I’m willing to die for. Certainly not abolishing fat grams (although the little boogers probably have a plan for MY demise).

Abolish is a strong word. I guess instead of abolish, I would just like to hear some intelligent dialogue on many of the issues of our day instead of hearing pundits portray their platform as they pontificate their principle.

Yes, I would like to hear an intelligent conversation about abortion, capital punishment, civil rights, global warming and nuclear proliferation, without being handed a pamphlet listing the ten reasons why the other side is anti-American.

It was a good thing to abolish slavery.

Who knows? Maybe it would be a good thing to abolish calories. But if you stand up to abolish something, you’d better be ready to fight.

That’s scary crap.