Tag Archives: gut

Baloney

Baloney: (n) foolish or deceptive talk; nonsense.Dictionary B

Bologna is a luncheon meat that is derived from unknown sources. The origin of this delicacy is so frighteningly unknown that some individuals refuse to eat it.

On the other hand, most Americans consider it to be a staple of life, and in the throes hunger, one of the tastier ways to soothe the gut.

But the reason we refer to stupid conclusions and ridiculous notions as “baloney” is because our society is very good at taking crap and throwing it in the blender, and then using the “press” to produce a conclusion which has questionable origins.

Matter of fact, there are things we just accept today which twenty years ago, we would have ridiculed.

The reason we accept them is because we are afraid to deal with the issues that might come up if a real conversation was held on the subject.

It’s why the old adage, “never discuss politics and religion” has been ignored in favor of believing that further debate will somehow or another bring about revelation or harmony.

Let’s be frank. Politics and religion are useless if they don’t make our lives better. Matter of fact, almost everything is useless if it doesn’t make our lives better.

Case in point: I was sitting in a gathering of mournful souls who were lamenting the loss of a loved one. It wasn’t even ten seconds before someone intoned the platitude, “He’s in a better place.”

Obviously, that’s baloney. We don’t know where he is. We are mortals, held on this Earthly plane without any awareness of the universe.

But “better place” is an idea that can quickly be pressed together to form a product which is palatable.

It’s like in politics, when we say, “We’re looking for the best person for the job.”

Of course we’re not. The best person to be the President of the United States could never be elected President because that person’s background would be too colorful and could never survive the vetting process.

Baloney is what is served up to the public without revealing how it was actually processed and ground up to form a thought.

And like its counterpart, bologna, it is normally stuck between two pieces of white bread and adorned with something cheesy.

 

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Acid

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Acid (n): a chemical substance that neutralizes alkalis, dissolves some metals and turns litmus red, typically, a corrosive of sour-tasting liquid: e.g. the rainwater is a very weak acid.

It burns. It disfigures. It’s pungent.

None of those words are particularly pleasing. I know there’s a purpose for acid. I also know it should not be thrown in somebody’s face nor drip too much into your gut.

When I was a kid, there was a saying: “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

Somewhere along the line, that slogan has been ridiculed to the extent that we now feel that saying nice things is stupid or pansy and that having an “acid tongue” is what’s necessary to communicate honesty.

I was watching a show yesterday when some unqualified individuals who certainly were beyond their scope in both understanding and righteousness were criticizing Kanye and Kim for naming their baby “North,” giving the young child the entire signature of “North West.”

These pseudo philosophers were distressed that the young parents had placed an undue burden on a child in a season when bullying is common–that they were certainly cursing their offspring to a life of perpetual ridicule. As the audience applauded these intrusive comments, each one of the “interferers” gained intensity and acidity with their observations. By the end, one would have thought that Kanye and Kim had murdered their small baby, throwing her into a duffel bag and dumping her into the East River.

Honestly, folks, I don’t know what the value of acid is. I am sure somebody could enlighten me, but in my understanding, it burns, it disfigures and it’s pungent.

I really don’t need any one of those three things. It may be a little optimistic to think that we can only say good things when observing some nastiness around us. But to purposefully wear the cap of cynicism for entertainment, or worse yet, in order to feel superior, is a curse on our society and will be viewed by future generations as a little piece of insanity that we fortunately escaped.

I do not favor acid. I don’t like it when it comes out of a beaker or slips off a tongue.

And maybe I’m weird–I think having a name like North West gives you a chance to start a conversation in a world that at times ping-pongs between acidity … and mute.

Abdomen

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Abdomen: n. the part of the body of a vertebrate containing the digestive organs–the belly. It is bounded by the diaphragm and the pelvis.

I can certainly see why it didn’t catch on. There is something too bizarre about “trust your abdomen.” I think that’s why we ended up with “gut.”

But you see, I’ve always found trust your gut to be VERY poor advice. My abdomen–or if you want to be “street-talkin'” in your ways–gut–is often misleading to my own good. My gut tells me to continue in fantasies and prejudices that were ingrained in me before I had a chance to be more discretionary about what was allowed in my abdomen.

My gut is my predictable. And truthfully, friends, my predictable is not my best. My best mingles what I know with what I need to know with how dumb I am and how willing I am to get smarter. Abdomen logic rarely factors in our own depravity.

I also don’t trust my abdomen–or gut–to lead me in the paths of righteousness concerning good nutrition, health and longevity. For instance, last night my abdomen desired a piece of cake. I haven’t had a piece of cake for a long time, so I was a little surprised when my gut hatched the whim. My abdomen, with its appetite, joined in cooperation with my gut instinct, with ITS great ability to rationalize my faults, and tempted me to not only eat a small sliver of cake but to also pursue a much more humongous hunk of the gunk.

So you see, my gut has too many opinions and too big of an appetite to be trusted or allowed to run much of anything in my pursuit of sanity.

So here’s to the abdomen–with a caveat: make sure that your gut digests all the information available AND that it does not decide exactly what and how much you’re going to eat.

Otherwise, your abdomen will too soon make you belly up.