Cub Scouts

Cub Scout: (n) a member of the junior division (ages 8–10) of the Boy Scouts.

 

It was supposed to be a weekend trip to see if I liked it.

“It” referring to an outing with the Cub Scouts.

I was nine years old but much larger than the other boys. Actually, I was much larger than my dad. So when I asked to sign up for the troop, there was a hesitation I had not seen when the other boys expressed curiosity.

Here is what they told me:

  1. We’re not so sure you’ll like it.
  2. There’s a lot of walking and hiking.
  3. The tents are small.

And:

  1. We checked. They don’t have a Cub Scout uniform in your size.

Much to the chagrin of the Scout leader, his wife offered to sew me one, so that I could be part of the troop. After he gave her a sour look, we proceeded on to plan a trial excursion, where I would join the Cub Scouts—uniformless—for a weekend, to see if it was (pardon the expression) a good fit.

Even though I was young, I realized quickly that the leader was so reluctant to have me join his little conclave of Cubbies that he found it difficult to converse with me, and was a bit bitter when he attempted to answer questions.

I tried my hardest—and when that was not good enough, I tried my damndest.

I thought I had some moments where I sort of resembled one of the guys doing guy things out beneath the pines.

But I was slower in the walking.

I was stuffed into a tent instead of placed there.

And it was obvious that for me, bending and crawling were not fluid endeavors.

At the end of the weekend I decided to drop my application. It was obvious to me—and probably the other dudes—that our leader was relieved and thankful to return to fearless.

I will never know whether I quit because of the strain or because I felt unwanted.

Unwanted is more than a feeling.

It’s a sentence—a punishment.

And if you’re a young, fat boy, it can be a demand to eat more, to escape the condemnation of having eaten too much.

 

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

 

Admiral

Words from Dic(tionary)

dictionary with letter AAdmiral (n): a commander of a fleet or naval squadron or a naval officer of very high rank.

I’m a little bit embarrassed to admit that when the word “admiral” comes to my mind, I think of Halsey–and only because Paul McCartney wrote a song mentioning him. You know–where they sing that real high part–Hands Across the Water.

Isn’t that weird?

I don’t even know exactly what Paul says about Admiral Halsey. It’s in a thick British accent and is about some sort of pie, maybe.

I have watched enough movies to know that an admiral is a guy who sits in his own boat about three hundred miles away from the battle and radios messages to his fleet, which is getting blown out of the water by shells, telling them stupid things like, “Don’t give up the ship.”

You know what the problem is with leadership? The word itself has a confusing blending. First of all, we’re assuming that someone should BE a leader–and then, that they should be in charge of the ship. I guess that’s what an admiral is–he is an actual leaderSHIP.

So how do you know if someone’s a good admiral, using excellent leaderSHIP?

1. The boat should be afloat. I think it’s a telltale sign of bad “admiraling” when you’re taking in water.

2. Everyone on deck should know what their job is and not be confused if the question is posed.

3. All those who work on the ship should have a nice balance between love of the admiral and terrified of him if they fail to do their duty.

4. A good admiral should be able to get you to your destination quickly if so needed.

An admiral–a leaderSHIP.

Without such an efficient being at the helm?  Well  … we’re all sunk.

Abiotic

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Abiotic: adj. 1.physical rather than biological; not derived from living organisms. 2. Devoid of life; sterile

I found a definition for Congress!!  “Devoid of life and sterile!” A physical body not producing any life. How remarkable! Do you think anyone in that particular institution would comprehend it if I refered to them as abiotic?

I was thinking about other things in our society that are abiotic:

Certainly, the entertainment industry came to mind, which continues to pop out pet projects from a group of spoiled technicians who refuse to allow new ideas into their coven of interaction for fear of losing both prestige and dollars.

Certainly our religious system is abiotic. For after all, we more celebrate the death of our leader than we do his life, and even gather around his carcass weekly to grab a hunk, for old times sake.

Our educational system seems to have become abiotic, trapping us into a repetitive merry-go-round of stats and facts, which don’t always add up to the requirements of our ever-burgeoning world.

What a fascinating word!

Sometimes I’m abiotic. I see life happening in front of me and I pull up a chair instead of putting on my tennis shoes.

Abiotic–ignoring life in motion. Being present in the physical without generating any living thing.

Because after all, to live a cautious life is to have completely misunderstood the directions that came with our kit.