Decked out: (adj) decorated or dressed up
Nothing makes me giggle more than remembering something I did and trying to grasp what caused me to do it.
The truth of the matter is, life refuses to match up with itself.
What I mean by that is:
- When you need to look your best, you have your least money.
- When you need to perform your best, you’re too inexperienced.
- And when you need to be making really quality decisions, you find yourself completely uncertain, staring down at your shoes.
I think life enjoys this.
I think life relishes offering us opportunity when it knows we can’t possibly take it.
I am sure life thinks it’s funny—giving us rare glimpses into success when we’re so dopey that we couldn’t possibly muster the reasoning to pull it off.
When I was young, I traveled on the road with a music group. We were pretty good—but we were very poor.
Even though it’s very important to dress up for a performance—or at least look clean and well-laundered—it is difficult to achieve this when you’re dressing out of the back end of an old, brown Econoline van.
I remember arriving at a performance one night and discovered that it was going to be much bigger than I thought.
I had two outfits to wear onstage. The first was a leisure suit—powder blue and white snow.
The second outfit was a gold shirt with a pair of plaid pants, which, for some reason or another, were considered cool for that season.
I wanted to be decked out for this show.
I should have thought of that two days earlier—because the leisure suit had a two-inch stain on the right leg. The gold shirt and plaid pants were wrinkled. And I couldn’t find my belt.
I sat for a good fifteen minutes trying to measure whether it was better to be stained or wrinkled and beltless.
Then I quickly slipped on my plaid pants and gold shirt and went out to finish the setup of our equipment.
It was a fiasco.
The pants refused to stay up.
Finally, to my embarrassment, they dropped down to my thighs before I could grab them and yank them back up to the border of decency.
I looked around the room to see who might have caught a glimpse, and there, in the back of the auditorium was a little girl about eight years old, shocked and ready to scream, who beat a trail to Mommy.
The pants and shirt were not going to work.
I went backstage and changed into my leisure suit and spent the whole night trying to lay my arm over the stain so nobody would notice.
But it, too, was a little wrinkled, so I never really felt like I achieved “decked out.”
I was nervous about my stain all night.
And lo and behold, my left shoe picked that night to break a lace.
I thought I did adequately until one of the girls in our band walked up and patted me on the shoulder and said, “Nice stain.”