Dance

Dance: (v) to move one’s feet or body, or both, rhythmically in a pattern of steps, especially to the accompaniment of music.

There are just some things that demand more than sitting and watching.

I don’t like to sit and watch people eat. Matter of fact, I find it to be notorious.

I don’t like to sit and watch a sports event for too long. After a while, my imagination and my waistline grow together.

I never liked to sit and watch two people making love. I don’t get it. Making love may be the supreme example of the term, “user friendly.”

I don’t like to sit and watch church. If you really are in a mood to worship and you think there are matters that are praise-worthy, why would your choice be solemnity?

I don’t enjoy sitting and watching the sunrise. It was never meant to be a visual show, but rather, an invitation to get off one’s ass and start the day.

And I don’t like to sit and watch music. I used to hate to go with friends who wanted to watch someone play a piano or guitar or sit and listen to a singer.

Music was created to be moving

  • Move the heart with emotion.
  • Move the soul with inspiration.
  • Move the mind with ideas.
  • And move the body with beat.

Thus the dance.

The Bible is full of examples where people became overcome with emotion, music, spirit and thanksgiving—and started to dance.

And that is Middle Eastern style of dance, which is a lot of whirling and twirling. Yes, Temple, at one time, was an aerobic workout.

Dancing is when we confirm to those around us that we can still be moved by a melody, a beat and the possibility of excitement generated through a song.

 

Copulate

Copulate: (v) to engage in sexual intercourse.

“Making love” may be the safest term.

When referring to sexual interaction, trying to find a dainty way of describing the explosion of lust that occurs, turning normally rational human beings into grunting and groaning grizzly bears, has left the human race devoid of a good term.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Most people will be honest and admit that the actual process of intercourse is not “making love.” Love may precede it and sometimes even follow it. But human sexual response is very similar to getting your back scratched—it feels so good at the one place that its being done that the rest of your back starts screaming for similar attention.

It is animalistic. This is not a slam on the action or the meaningfulness of it because I have nothing personally against animals.

So if I get in a particularly clinical mode, when I am around adults who have an understanding of the English language, and I’m trying to be careful about how I’m phrasing it, I will occasionally say that the two people are “going to copulate.”

I don’t do it very often because it’s pretentious.

Actually the word is kind of silly. It sounds like an accusation a man might make to a woman after intercourse, when she is unable to achieve orgasm:

“Cop-you-late!”

But setting that aside, let us realize that some human actions are better to participate in and enjoy, minus a whole bunch of uncomfortable discussions.


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Abattoir

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Abattoir: n. a slaughterhouse

Thank God.

I will never, ever again have to nervously tell my friends that I will be unable to join them for dinner because I needed to pick up an extra shift at the slaughterhouse. I can just inform them that I am “tied up at the abattoir.”

Don’t you love words like that? Without them, our civilization might crumble in a series of offensive utterances that leave the room either confused or repelled.

For instance, how about the guy or gal who first came up with “restroom?” After all, even “bathroom” is a little bit weird and ambiguous. )It did, however,  at least give us the ability to escape crapper, pot, toilet and “take a dump.”)

Yes, because we have “civilized” our language, we are now able, as high-browed souls, to judge others on their improper usage of words.  If anyone is going to say in mixed company that they’re going to “take a crap,” we assume that they would kill baby birds and also vote for the candidate distasteful to our tender conscience.

I would love to see us resolve this with the issue of romance–because to proclaim that the previous evening afforded you the opportunity to have sex is way too blatant, conjuring images of you in the nude which are unpleasant to all participants. Equally nasty is “getting it on,” “hooking up,” “bumping uglies,” “getting some,” and even “making love.” I guess that last one, “making love,” is the least offensive, but it still invites images of movie scenes with soft lighting, air-brushed bodies and guaranteed orgasms for all parties.

Yes, now that we’ve taken care of that “slaughterhouse” dilemma, we need to work on a description of human sexuality that doesn’t leave the listener confused or completely grossed out.

What is the abattoir for romance? I wish they’d hold a contest. The submissions would be hilarious, don’t you think?

But in the meantime, I shall spend my day rejoicing that slaughtered pigs, cows, chickens and even goats are going out in finer style–at the abattoir.