Cryogenics

Cryogenics: (n) the branch of physics that deals with very low temperatures

In any given winter in Central Ohio, I must have said it at least a hundred times:

“I’m gonna freeze my ass off.”

Why I thought it was significant to center in on my ass, or if my overall freezing would begin or end there, I do not know.

But with the arrival of cryogenics, you can now freeze your ass ON.

Yes, if you develop some sort of incurable disease or if you’re just sick of living in the twenty-first century, you can freeze your body—to later have it thawed out in such a time when the disease that inhabits you can be healed or the ugliness of age that is pursuing you can be receded.

In other words, you get younger.

I have to ask myself if this is something I would like to do.

Was I so impressed with my first go-around that I would like to go around later on with people, times and unknown quantities beyond my control?

Coming back from the dead in a much, much different generation is certainly waking up with no friends.

You might be a curiosity, but still, so old-fashioned and stuck in your time that the new-fangled world, which obviously must be accomplished, might be unsuitable for your occupation.

Even though no one likes it, death offers an obvious last chapter.

Otherwise, if you delay it, it’s like that annoying friend from your high school who started writing a novel twenty years ago and has not finished it yet, though every time you meet him he reminds you that he has a novel on ice, and that someday…ah, yes.

Someday…

 

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C



https://jonathanrichardcring.substack.com/

Crème

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Crème: (n) cream

Sometimes I foolishly allow myself to get on a jag of discovering correct grammar, proper sentence structure, and believe it or not, accurate spelling.

In the midst of this pursuit, I occasionally stumble on a word that has an old-time spelling and a new-fangled spelling without any particular consensus on which one is definitively correct.

Idiot that I occasionally am, I adopt the unusual spelling or pronunciation, thinking it makes me a trifle uptown or high-falutin’.

The result is always the same.

All the people who do not share my predilection for a historical study of the English language—etymology—immediately wonder why in the hell I use the word etymology when I wasn’t mentioning insects.

I know they don’t know what they’re talking about.

I am positive I have discovered some nugget of personal treasure which I am offering in order to seem expansive.

But inevitably, I’ll be corrected—rudely.

In one of my novels I wrote that my character requested “coffee and crème.”

First, my spellcheck had a stroke. (You know—when the squiggly line is SO dark and red that you realize it’s coming from a rage from spellcheck’s childhood.)

I resisted spellcheck and had it published, only to hear from grammar Nazis, concerned friends, and those who joined the club (which probably is called, “Cream Should Be Spelled C-R-E-A-M.”) They all asked me to reform. I became defensive, which made them believe that I was not only ignorant, but mentally challenged.

So I have learned in a world that talks a good game of creativity while desperately extoling the status quo, to let the cream rise to the top and let the crème sink to the bottom.


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