Crimp

Crimp: (v) to check, restrain, or inhibit; hinder

Crimper.

Crimping.

Crimped.

The average person spends an awful lot of their waking hours trying to recover from feeling crimped.

Here’s how it works:

Arriving at the parking lot for work, you’re about to pull into the space when someone pulls in right before you. This is the crimper. He is crimping you. But you do not understand that he is doing this because yesterday the same thing happened to him and he ended up crimped.

Now, he stored up that frowning crimped position, and when the opportunity arrived on this day, he decided to turn into the crimper, so that he would not be the victim of crimping and end up crimped again.

As you can well imagine, this can start out small but end up with world powers possessing nuclear weapons which can destroy the Earth many times over.

Yes, even world leaders can turn into crimpers who are crimping one another, and one of them who is crimped has had his or her fill of it and does some button pushing. So this weary, frustrated victim decides to turn himself into a crimper and leave our beautiful Earth crumped.

This is not only plausible—it is unfortunately likely. What must we do to escape such a great demolition? Here’s an idea:

On your way to work, stop and make your peace with the possibilities.

Evaluate them. Example:

“If I actually find a great parking place, it would be miraculous. If I found a good parking place, it still would be outstanding. If I find a parking place and someone steals it from me, my best way of getting even is to pretend I didn’t even notice. But rather than becoming a victim of crimping, I will take the time to drive around the parking lot twice. First, to make sure I don’t feel crimped and secondly, just maybe a parking spot will come open even closer than the one I wanted. And the guy or gal who stole mine will have to walk by me on his or her way into the building.”

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

 


Subscribe to Jonathan’s Weekly Podcast

Good News and Better News

 

Cold war

Cold war: (n) a state of political hostility between countries

It happened over the summer between sixth and seventh grade.

When we returned in the fall for football practice, some of the guys in the locker room had hair on their balls. Some didn’t.

Needless to say, this developed class warfare.

Those who had been endowed with hairiness were also convinced that their “hanger” was “better hung.”

Having no follicles sprouting black shrub, the other boys were at a loss to rally much of a defense. For two weeks, it literally created a separation on our football
team…over pubes.

Supposedly not having it was hilarious to those who did.

Even though the coach sat us down and explained puberty, and that the rest of the “penile Chihuahuas” would eventually sprout some overgrowth, there was still a cold war for most of the football season, until nature took its course.

Now, you may wonder why I begin this essay talking about junior high school football. I do so because I don’t believe that we, as men, ever progress much beyond it.

Whether we’re comparing our gross national products, our armies or our missiles, there is certainly not much difference from the locker-room jabber that caused so much tension and brooding in junior high.

Maybe we should just go ahead and call it a “cock war” instead of a “cold war.” Maybe such a revelation might stir a consciousness of the futility of comparing strength and might based upon physical virility.

Is it really necessary to know how many times the world could be destroyed by nuclear weapons, or might it be intriguing to contemplate clever and inventive ways to avoid it?

If you don’t want to fight, stop comparing.

It’s that simple.

The minute you feel the need to compare what you have–especially favorably–to what others have, a chill will fill the room.

If it gets cold enough, unfortunately, somebody may want to warm it up.Donate Button

 

 

Subscribe to Jonathan’s Weekly Podcast

Good News and Better News

 

Central

Central: (adj) at the center, of the greatest importance

Is there a center to a box? I always consider a center to be associated with a circle. I suppose you could find the center of a square. Of course you can.

But still, “central” normally is equated with something that’s a circle–like the Earth. There’s a central point on the Earth. I’ve heard about it.
I could have looked it up for you but I didn’t.

There’s a central theme to almost every occupation.

But trying to discover what is central to the human race is difficult because people keep trying to “mash down” the circle.

Some human beings believe it’s their mission to disrupt everything, and therefore provide a climate of chaos wherein allegedly, sense and reason will emerge triumphantly.

I was halfway through writing that sentence and it sounded stupid.

To find deeper truth, some truth has to be honored–otherwise there is no path.

When we begin to question what is central, we start doubting the circle of the Earth and the wholeness of us as a people. That seems dangerous.

We might accidentally start threatening one another with nuclear weapons, or shooting down innocent people in the street–simply because we’ve forgotten what’s central.

Central to our race is a very simple idea: I have to leave you alone and let you be who you are while simultaneously letting you know I care.

It’s a little tricky.

Because if I let you know I care by interfering with who you want to be, then I’ve broken the central theme.

If I leave you to yourself to pursue your avenues but you know I do so because I have no interest in you, then I’ve also failed.

It is that amazing place we land–where we are tolerant, but vigilant.

I love you enough to let you be who you want to be while simultaneously standing guard to make sure you don’t hurt yourself or fail to miss an opportunity.

 

 

 

Donate ButtonThank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix 

 

Arsenal

Arsenal: (n) a collection of weapons and military equipment stored by a country, person, or group.dictionary with letter A

Growing up in an America which was so frightened of the Soviet Union that we produced enough atomic arsenal to destroy the world many times over, I was confused as to whether to wave my flag in glory over our prowess, or bow my head in prayer that we would never use it.

I guess I’m a little bewildered by the idea of an arsenal.

When people explain that they like to own a gun for protection or because they enjoy hunting, I nod my head because that seems logical–if not to me, then to them. But when people start storing up weapons and building up a cache of killing instruments, I wonder exactly what they believe their everyday lives should be.

An arsenal of anything is an admission that “I need to have more than enough” to scare or intimidate the world around me.

I don’t know if I can love people if I’m trying to be scary or if I find them to be threatening. And if I don’t love people, am I just looking for an opportunity to crack open my arsenal and let the bullets fly?

It is confusing, isn’t it?

I’m not trying to tell you I have an answer on the question. I can only select a pattern of behavior that suits my soul.

I don’t keep an arsenal of anything…simply because I believe a certain amount of faith is necessary to be pleasing.

 

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

Armaments

dictionary with letter A

Armament: (n) Military weapons and equipment. 

Do you realize that there are people in the world who get up every morning and go to work to try to come up with new ideas for weapons that are bigger and meaner than the ones we’ve already manufactured?

I don’t want to be self-righteous, but it’s certainly not a job I would want to pursue.

After all, once you’ve discovered an implement that’s capable of killing someone, doing it more effectively or with double power seems to be…well, over-kill.

There was a point in the 1960’s when both the U.S. and the Soviet Union touted that each was able to destroy the world ten times over through nuclear weapons.

Did they really intend on procuring nine other planets?

Or was this just little boys on the playground boasting on how far they could spit?

As long as we have a military budget which is built on discovering more creative ways to be destructive rather than maintaining an existing prowess that encourages peace, I think we may be guilty of some misappropriation of funds.

Armaments scare me. It’s not because I’m afraid to die.

It’s just because I don’t like to discuss modes of death… before I get there.

 

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix

Apocalypse

dictionary with letter A

Apocalypse (n.)1. an event involving great destruction. 2. (The Apocalypse) the final destruction of the world, as described in the biblical book of Revelation.

It didn’t take me long in my travels to discover that there are only two things that motivate human beings: fear and love. And the truth is, if you have one, you don’t have the other.

Those who fear are greatly inhibited from loving.

And those who love have comfort, which protects them from fear.

Let me share my own little bubble of naiveté: if the world is actually going to end, don’t tell me. Matter of fact. don’t talk about it.

You can feel free to suggest ways that I can prevent such a cataclysmic occurence. That will be fine. But when you start talking about times, dates, circumstances or blame, please leave me out.

Because I will tell you, in my lifetime I have seen the threat of such annihilation twice:

During my whole growing up years, people were building bomb shelters, preparing for the inevitable tossing back and forth of nuclear weapons.

And then the Cuban Missile Crisis took us to the brink of a global fiasco, flirting with devastation like cheap whores at a bar near closing time.

I didn’t care for it–and not just because we were so close to oblivion. It was also the tension leading up to it and the apprehension that remained following.

I run across many religious people who pray for such an Armageddon so they can go home and be with Jesus. Isn’t it interesting that the Savior who prayed to stay here with us is now plagued with disciples who pray to go?

How bizarre.

  • I don’t want the world to end on my watch.
  • I don’t want to stand before God and have to explain why the whole damn thing blew up while I was idly figuring out the day and the hour.

I plan on going to my demise kicking and screaming, needing to be convinced by any divine being who has prepared a place, that this heavenly offering is actually better than what I had.

 

 

 

Donate Button

Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix