by J. R. Practix

Accost: (v.) to approach and address someone boldly, aggressively or with harmful or sexual intent.

What they won’t tell you is that one person‘s “accost” is another person’s “flirt.”

One person’s “accost” is another person’s “sales pitch.”

One person’s “accost” is a new convert’s over-zealous over-telling of his testimony.

It is a fragile time we live in and it is difficult to know how much passion and energy to bring to new ideas or experiences. But let’s be honest–some of that’s just excuses. We are human, you know. As humans, we have a sensibility about when we are turning people off and when we are registering positively on their barometer of acceptability.

There are three ways to know if you are accosting someone:

1. They stop talking. If people stop talking and you find yourself delivering a soliloquy, you have probably passed from fellowship into just shipwreck.

2. There’s fear in their eyes. Sometimes it’s caused by the intensity of a spiel which does not allow for any disagreement. But when people’s eyes are darting, looking for an exit, it is not because their optometrist gave them exercises.

3. They don’t want to see you again. Human beings are pretty open to the notion of reuniting with people who gave them favorable experiences. If you suggest a second or third meeting of the minds, and they would rather leave their brains at home, somewhere along the line, whether you like it or not, you have accosted the calmer nature of your victim.

I didn’t say it’s easy to understand. And I didn’t say you would always agree with anyone else’s particular interpretation of your approach. But the only way we can truly love other people is to learn how wide their doorways are and not try to unload all of our baggage too quickly.