funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Creationism: (n) the doctrine that matter and all things were created by an omnipotent Creator

It is a twelve-year-old conversation. By this, what I really mean is that it is a discourse among twelve-year-olds. It makes no sense outside that gathering—and to many would seem frivolous.

But when I was twelve years old and had a sleepover at my house with five other young gentlemen, we sat around and discussed, lamented, worried, bragged and mocked one another over the size of our testicles and penises.

It was not a planned topic for the evening. Someone brought up the subject of girls, and since we knew absolutely nothing about that, we decided to discuss what we believed, in our infantile reasoning, was the item that attracted women to men.

In the course of that ridiculous discussion, some of my young brethren waxed eloquent. Others were just silly. One or two were belligerently adamant on their foreknowledge—yet all of us, obviously, ignorant.

But this misinformation did not keep us from speculation and postulating on our particular rendition or theory.

Fortunately, we never pulled out our private areas to actually visually compare—but while maintaining them securely within our briefs, we explained to everyone in the room how massive they were and also, evolving.

It was a comical situation which could only be tolerated by a roomful of immature individuals who were over-zealous about their insights.

Likewise, this is the identical way I feel about the theory of evolution and creationism. When I hear people argue about “how we got here” or if there is a “here,” or where “here” came from, or where “there” is going, my head begins to spin and I want to scream and ask them to pull out their balls and prove their point.

Of course, they can’t.

There are no balls to pull out and no one has a definitive point.

Since we are creatures which inhabit a planet which has been around a long time, and we only have the possibility of a hundred years, it might be better for us to get about the business of creating something beautiful as we evolve toward kindness.

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by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Accost: (v.) to approach and address someone boldly, aggressively or with harmful or sexual intent.

What they won’t tell you is that one person‘s “accost” is another person’s “flirt.”

One person’s “accost” is another person’s “sales pitch.”

One person’s “accost” is a new convert’s over-zealous over-telling of his testimony.

It is a fragile time we live in and it is difficult to know how much passion and energy to bring to new ideas or experiences. But let’s be honest–some of that’s just excuses. We are human, you know. As humans, we have a sensibility about when we are turning people off and when we are registering positively on their barometer of acceptability.

There are three ways to know if you are accosting someone:

1. They stop talking. If people stop talking and you find yourself delivering a soliloquy, you have probably passed from fellowship into just shipwreck.

2. There’s fear in their eyes. Sometimes it’s caused by the intensity of a spiel which does not allow for any disagreement. But when people’s eyes are darting, looking for an exit, it is not because their optometrist gave them exercises.

3. They don’t want to see you again. Human beings are pretty open to the notion of reuniting with people who gave them favorable experiences. If you suggest a second or third meeting of the minds, and they would rather leave their brains at home, somewhere along the line, whether you like it or not, you have accosted the calmer nature of your victim.

I didn’t say it’s easy to understand. And I didn’t say you would always agree with anyone else’s particular interpretation of your approach. But the only way we can truly love other people is to learn how wide their doorways are and not try to unload all of our baggage too quickly.