Cud

Cud: (n) the portion of food that a ruminant returns from the first stomach to the mouth to chew a second time.

I am susceptible.

I don’t like to admit it.

Often, it’s why I refuse to watch medical shows or even programs of itinerant travelers who share experiences of strange lands, animals and diseases.

I buy in too easily.

Such a thing happened to me short years ago. In my ongoing pursuit to remove the mythology of my obesity and supposedly create the human-flesh-muddle that I’m meant to be, I listened to a young, slender woman (my first mistake) expound upon the importance of chewing your food at least twenty times before swallowing.

She explained that this not only made digestion easier, but also that chewing at for such an extended period of time caused us to eat less, and therefore promoted weight loss.

In that moment–in my flurry of passion and with her apt representation– she was able to convince me to try. She closed off her discourse by highlighting that animals like the cow chew their cud over and over again until it is just a mushy mess of drippy liquid, which they then gulp.

Surviving her vivid description, I sat down to my dinner that night and decided to pursue my own cud chewing.

I quickly realized that my normal number of chews for consumption was four or five.

I was still comfortable with eight chews.

At twelve I had to take my mind to a faraway place to keep insanity from ensuing.

When I finally reached twenty and tried to swallow, nothing happened. (All the little gushy, mushy pieces had already snuck down my throat to the stomach to the awaiting stomach).

Yet faithful pilgrim that I am, I continued this practice for an entire meal.

It was exhausting—so tiring it was that at the end of the feast, I found myself needing energy—starved.

 

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

 

Creationism

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Creationism: (n) the doctrine that matter and all things were created by an omnipotent Creator

It is a twelve-year-old conversation. By this, what I really mean is that it is a discourse among twelve-year-olds. It makes no sense outside that gathering—and to many would seem frivolous.

But when I was twelve years old and had a sleepover at my house with five other young gentlemen, we sat around and discussed, lamented, worried, bragged and mocked one another over the size of our testicles and penises.

It was not a planned topic for the evening. Someone brought up the subject of girls, and since we knew absolutely nothing about that, we decided to discuss what we believed, in our infantile reasoning, was the item that attracted women to men.

In the course of that ridiculous discussion, some of my young brethren waxed eloquent. Others were just silly. One or two were belligerently adamant on their foreknowledge—yet all of us, obviously, ignorant.

But this misinformation did not keep us from speculation and postulating on our particular rendition or theory.

Fortunately, we never pulled out our private areas to actually visually compare—but while maintaining them securely within our briefs, we explained to everyone in the room how massive they were and also, evolving.

It was a comical situation which could only be tolerated by a roomful of immature individuals who were over-zealous about their insights.

Likewise, this is the identical way I feel about the theory of evolution and creationism. When I hear people argue about “how we got here” or if there is a “here,” or where “here” came from, or where “there” is going, my head begins to spin and I want to scream and ask them to pull out their balls and prove their point.

Of course, they can’t.

There are no balls to pull out and no one has a definitive point.

Since we are creatures which inhabit a planet which has been around a long time, and we only have the possibility of a hundred years, it might be better for us to get about the business of creating something beautiful as we evolve toward kindness.

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Beautiful

Beautiful: (adj) pleasing the senses or mind aesthetically.Dictionary B

  • Manipulate the language and you control the discourse.
  • Controlling the discourse dictates the policy.
  • Policy in place, objection is often futile.

I’m not trying to be overly dramatic, yet I tell you that “beautiful” is one of the more cantankerous words in the language.

First of all, it has no real definition.

It is not only “in the eye of the beholder,” it is enforced by the prejudice of the viewing mob. Somehow or another, people have decided through marketing what beautiful is, and we now accept it as the common understanding.

Looking at Facebook the other day, I saw some pictures of my granddaughters. The comments that people selected to place in responding to the pictures were universally shallow.

“Pretty.”

“Gorgeous.”

And of course, “beautiful.”

Moving down the page, I discovered the picture of a young man. The responding words in the comment section were “strong, manly and handsome.”

I am really not trying to be a nudge about this. Being a plain-looking man, I am not offended by those who are attractive, nor do I wish them to have more limited appreciation.

I just feel that the word “beautiful” needs to be used more often to describe a fulfilling experience which radiates joy in the human heart rather than the perfect construction of eye sockets, cheek bones and noses.

I have been around people who are comely. And yes–I was struck with their features. But within five minutes, when it became necessary for them to perform some function other than iridescence, I saw that many of them were so dependent on their countenance to carry them that they had failed to hook up their brain with their tongue.

They were lost.

Yes, in a blind audition, they would be rendered dumb.

So under my granddaughters’ pictures on Facebook, I wrote, “Let’s get off the ‘pretty’ thing and realize that these are intelligent, intuitive and talented people.”

I was scoffed.

After all, these “complimenters” were just trying to be nice.

How could “beautiful” be considered anything but positive?

Even though it succeeds in leaving out most of the rest of us.

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Babble

Babble: (v) to talk rapidly and continuously in a foolish, excited, or incomprehensible way.Dictionary B

I have always pridefully considered myself to be a good communicator. Of course, I am the worst judge of such a determination.

It really would have to be evaluated by others around me who fall victim to hearing my explanations and discourse.

But setting aside my ego, I will tell you that no matter how well you think you speak, your words will become mere babble if you don’t take three things into consideration:

  1. Am I sharing something from my heart that I know the person I’m speaking with definitely disagrees with?

It is unlikely that you will convince folks to change their minds through debate or conversation. Normally it just cements their position.

People change their minds when they become convinced they are uncool if they don’t.

  1. Never talk as long as you want to.

If you’re telling a story and you think it will run about three minutes, then you desperately need to develop a one-minute version.

Taking people’s attention span to the limit of their toleration is the best way to ensure that they will not tolerate you very long.

  1. Learn the power of silence gaps.

If you find that you have just rattled off two or three minutes worth of conversation about yourself, insert a “breath mint” of silence. Allow people to understand that you comprehend the value of speech, but also appreciate the solitude of being mute or even of listening.

If you include those three things into your interaction with others, you will never be considered a “babbler” … or have folks secretly roll their eyes when you walk into the room.

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Arguable

dictionary with letter A

Arguable: (adj) able to be argued or asserted; open to disagreement

“I like to argue,” he said with a smile.

It was obvious that he found himself extraordinarily engaging. He believed that disagreement, even to the point of dissension, was often necessary in the human family, in order to bring about the compromise that pushes ideas forward.

It’s a very popular notion–matter of fact, we think we need Democrat and Republican Parties to create the tension that fosters our tenuous democracy.

Would we have television if we didn’t have arguments?

Many of these impasses are considered to be natural and healthy. For instance, the notion that men and women can understand one another and come to any mutual tendency seems absurd to the masses.

We have relented to a discourse which favors disagreeability.

  • I am uncomfortable with it.
  • I have lost the passion for my own opinion.
  • I am no longer enamored with the mere sound of my voice.
  • I do not feel strong by making others weak simply by overcoming them with my sentiments.

I think somewhere along the line those who argue need to understand that there are truths that exist, which must play out and be honored. Otherwise, merely winning the day in debate is a victory with little meaning.

Simply because someone can form the words to disprove my assertion does not make them right. It’s also not honorable when I over-think some issue and develop a presentation which counters good reason just for the sake of proving my prowess.

I think some folks would be happy with disaster as long as it was their idea.

Not me.

Sometimes I just like to shut up and see if there’s a still, small voice in the universe … that’s whispering wisdom.

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