funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

Creationism: (n) the doctrine that matter and all things were created by an omnipotent Creator

It is a twelve-year-old conversation. By this, what I really mean is that it is a discourse among twelve-year-olds. It makes no sense outside that gathering—and to many would seem frivolous.

But when I was twelve years old and had a sleepover at my house with five other young gentlemen, we sat around and discussed, lamented, worried, bragged and mocked one another over the size of our testicles and penises.

It was not a planned topic for the evening. Someone brought up the subject of girls, and since we knew absolutely nothing about that, we decided to discuss what we believed, in our infantile reasoning, was the item that attracted women to men.

In the course of that ridiculous discussion, some of my young brethren waxed eloquent. Others were just silly. One or two were belligerently adamant on their foreknowledge—yet all of us, obviously, ignorant.

But this misinformation did not keep us from speculation and postulating on our particular rendition or theory.

Fortunately, we never pulled out our private areas to actually visually compare—but while maintaining them securely within our briefs, we explained to everyone in the room how massive they were and also, evolving.

It was a comical situation which could only be tolerated by a roomful of immature individuals who were over-zealous about their insights.

Likewise, this is the identical way I feel about the theory of evolution and creationism. When I hear people argue about “how we got here” or if there is a “here,” or where “here” came from, or where “there” is going, my head begins to spin and I want to scream and ask them to pull out their balls and prove their point.

Of course, they can’t.

There are no balls to pull out and no one has a definitive point.

Since we are creatures which inhabit a planet which has been around a long time, and we only have the possibility of a hundred years, it might be better for us to get about the business of creating something beautiful as we evolve toward kindness.

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Cousteau, Jacques (Yves)1910-97: French marine explorer, writer, & television producer who developed the Aqua-Lung.

I know nothing about Jacques Cousteau.

Therefore, my essay will not be elongated with “insider information” or speculation.

The name “Cousteau” brings to my mind a very favorable thought: “Thank you for doing it.”

There are so many people who do so many jobs, and pioneer so many different arenas that ultimately help us as the human race—but I never take the time to learn about them or even understand much of what they do.funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

I’m just glad they’re there.

I’m grateful for the man or woman who put yeast in my bread.

I’m very grateful for the Department of Agriculture for making sure that my meat is Triple A.

Somewhere at the FDA, there is a tireless employee who feverishly works to find a way to get rid of my fever.

And then there’s Jacques Cousteau. He studied the oceans and found ways to make it easier for others to study in the future by inventing an apparatus to help us imitate a fish.

God bless him.

I appreciate him. I don’t know much, but I’m grateful.

Aye Calypso.

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Blank: (n) a space left to be filled in a document.

Dictionary B

Do you remember the various types of tests?

There was the true or false.

Fifty-fifty chance.

Multiple choice.

I prayed there would be at least two ridiculous answers which could easily be eliminated.

Essay question.

For people like me, who felt I could bullshit my way through the procedure.

But then there was fill in the blank.

A sentence constructed with empty spaces, where it was dependent upon the student to provide legitimate knowledge.


It was nearly impossible to guess.

There were no choices provided.

And of course, there was no room for verbosity to save the day. What was needed was an answer.

Actually, I wish they had offered more tests like that, though I’m sure I would have objected.

For real life is rarely true of false, and honestly, multiple choice is not readily available.

Sometimes much speaking can eradicate a problem, but usually it merely delays the verdict.

But there are always blanks to be filled–and they require real data grounded in truth instead of speculation or the feeling that we can argue with the teacher later, and at least get some credit. 

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by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Accusation: (n.) a charge or claim that someone has done something illegal or wrong.

Does an accusation have to be true?

Or is an accusation speculation by definition?

And if it is true, is it sometimes necessary to bring an accusation against someone to clear the air, to make sure some benefit can be derived from the experience?

Or does the action of bringing an accusation make you an ass whether it is true OR false?

Is there anyone in history who was an accuser who is now revered as being valuable and noble?

Is there a different route that can be taken to expose stupidity without using the act of accusation?

Is accusation what jealous people do to slow down the progress of those who appear to be surpassing their notoriety?

Is there a different word than “accusation” that would cover exposure of a misdeed?

Can an accusation be made nicely?

Can an accusation be made without pointing one’s finger?

Is it possible to make an accusation without drawing attention to your own inadequacies?

Do we believe that God makes accusations against human beings? And if He does, is it fair for Him to accuse us when He has a divine advantage?

So is there an upside to accusation?

Are we better off keeping our nose to the grindstone and pursuing our dreams without trying to critique the efforts of those pulling a load nearby?

Is it possible to ask too many questions about “accusation” before you become totally obnoxious–AND  a victim of the same action?

Accusation–it is a decision to pursue a point of attack, making sure that you have all of your bases covered for the backlash that certainly will follow.