Deceiver

Deceiver: (n) someone who leads you to believe something that is not true 

Sin is not as nasty when I do it.

It gains a certain reasonability that I fail to notice when it’s performed by others.

I am constantly confused because I feel compelled to mingle my intentions, my heart and my history in with my present batch of foolishness, to come up with a diluted conclusion, which is also quite deluded.

I knew her for eight years.

She was a beautiful human being.

For some reason, she decided to cast her lot with me. She believed in my music and she risked the disapproval of her friends and family, all in the pursuit of a dream.

And the dream was much more than dreamy.

There were actual points when the dream became a reality—but always with a cost:  a little piece of integrity and the necessity, at least in the moment, of becoming a deceiver, to maintain the probability.

She saw me lie.

No one ever really gets over that.

If I were able to lie to a stranger, I certainly could become more adept and learn to lie to her.

She saw me cheat.

She saw my verbosity cause me to become both a tyrant and a blow-hard.

There were many good times.

But mentioning the good times in the midst of recounting the actions of a deceiver is a rationalization—like trying to hold water in a paper bag.

I don’t know why she stayed for eight years.

She must have loved the hell out of me.

Unfortunately, enough hell remained that she was forced to depart.

Of course, she was no princess herself—or she would never have been able to stay with this deceiver.

I haven’t spoken to her in forty years.

It is a very good remedy for her soul.

Because even if she knew that I am now sorry to the point of vexation, it wouldn’t change the deception that tore at the fabric of our dream.

After all, when the deceiver finishes his day, he must return to his home, lay on his bed and wonder who deceived him.

 

Blank

Blank: (n) a space left to be filled in a document.

Dictionary B

Do you remember the various types of tests?

There was the true or false.

Fifty-fifty chance.

Multiple choice.

I prayed there would be at least two ridiculous answers which could easily be eliminated.

Essay question.

For people like me, who felt I could bullshit my way through the procedure.

But then there was fill in the blank.

A sentence constructed with empty spaces, where it was dependent upon the student to provide legitimate knowledge.

Terrifying.

It was nearly impossible to guess.

There were no choices provided.

And of course, there was no room for verbosity to save the day. What was needed was an answer.

Actually, I wish they had offered more tests like that, though I’m sure I would have objected.

For real life is rarely true of false, and honestly, multiple choice is not readily available.

Sometimes much speaking can eradicate a problem, but usually it merely delays the verdict.

But there are always blanks to be filled–and they require real data grounded in truth instead of speculation or the feeling that we can argue with the teacher later, and at least get some credit. 

Donate ButtonThank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix 


Jonathan’s Latest Book Release!

PoHymn: A Rustling in the Stagnant

Click here to get your copy now!

PoHymn cover jon