Crêpe

Crêpe: (n) a thin, light delicate pancake

 Sitting here, pausing, mulling the idea and the essence of the crepe, it occurred to me that many of the transitions and outstanding moments in my life have been marked by the discovery and pursuit of some new food.

Maybe that’s why I’m overweight.

I’ve lived such a full life at the banquet table of experience.

I remember when I was about six years old and I ate pickle-pimento lunchmeat for the first time. It was so good. I liked it when it was sliced thin. I liked it when the butcher made it chunkier.

I liked pickle-pimento loaf so much that I asked for it on my twelfth birthday.

On that day, and throughout that night, I personally ate an entire pound of the stuff.

I never developed a dislike for it—just allowed it to graduate on to my next epiphany of treats.

There was a season when I discovered Chinese food. Having graduated from high school, I found myself driving my old car to downtown Columbus—that being the one in the state of Ohio—and walking around, taking in some theater, and visiting (and eventually frequenting) a little Chinese walk-in restaurant called La Toy.

I had never eaten such fare during my growing up years. I quickly developed a favorite. It was listed as Number 3 on the menu: Fried rice, Egg Foo Yung and Chicken Chow Mein.

So whether I was shopping, looking for a chance to play in a rock and roll band, trying to figure out how to flirt with a girl or going to the state theater to see the Broadway cast of Godspell, I always ended up afterwards at La Toy, munching my jaws on my favored three.

Then a few years later, when I was traveling on the road trying to scratch out a living (but actually not caring one way or the other if the electric company got their payment) I stopped in with a couple of friends at the International House of Pancakes, and posed the question:

What is a crêpe?

It was explained to me, and on a whim, I ordered some, with strawberries on top.

Crêpes are the best of pancakes. They aren’t so heavy and flour-filled. They also are the best of eggs because you don’t have to decide if you like the yolks or not. I became fond of crêpes and frequented I-Hop so often that I nearly went bankrupt from my less-than-wealthy purse.

But to this day, if I come upon a crêpe, I will order it.

Matter of fact, some day in the future, arriving in heaven, sitting before me at the Banquet Table of Life, will be pickle-pimento loaf, Number 3 from La Toy and a platter of crêpes.

 

funny wisdom on words that begin with a C

 

 

Coquette

Coquette: (n) a woman who flirts lightheartedly with men 

Jill liked men.

Or was it that Jill liked to flirt?

Perhaps Jill liked romance.

But Jill was one of those human beings–who happened to be female—who really embraced the notion of being desired, and raising the lust levels of all the men in the room.

I remember when I first met her, we were on our way to a business meeting and I noticed that a lot of guys waved at her from a distance or stopped to chat for a moment as we eased our way down the road. I thought to myself, Gee, whiz. I’m working with somebody who’s very popular, and that might come in handy funny wisdom on words that begin with a C
later if we need contacts.

What I soon discovered was that Jill was coquettish—or a coquette. She was one of those individuals who loved to be pursued and who pursued to be loved—and was even willing, as I found out later, to follow through on many an offer. I suppose jealous females or very religious people would have horrible names for her, like “whore,” but that’s because we still live in a Victorian age when attractive fellows who yearn for physical contact are called “ladies’ men,” and women who chase the same activities are called “sluts.”

It is not only unfair—it is a misrepresentation of facts. Because Jill was a delightful girl who was even a person of faith.

She just had a much broader definition for “love thy neighbor.”


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Bottom Line

Bottom line: (n) the final total of a financial document

If you’re not willing to flirt with some poverty, you’ll never make out rich.Dictionary B

It’s true.

There is such a thing as “safe money,” which remains the same because it is a salary given to you to procure your services by someone who owns a company–who is risking that paying you will end up paying him or her more.

If I had trusted the bottom line in my life, I would not have done ninety percent of the things I pursued. And even if fifty percent of those ended up either failing or having mediocre results, I still have a tremendous compilation of miracles, experiences, friends, creations and adventures to tout because I took a chance … on good things.

 

 

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Boo-boo

Boo-boo: (n) a minor mistake.

I think maybe you’re a little confused.Dictionary B

It’s understandable since you don’t necessarily know all the rules that have been established by my thinking. Let’s clarify:

You make mistakes. I had a boo-boo.

You are inconsiderate. I just didn’t notice.

You are really late. I was unavoidably delayed in traffic.

You are selfish. I was unaware.

You are a sinner. I am a victim of circumstance.

You are a bigot. I just have more experience with those types of people.

You are a hater. I’m just trying to point out some grievous errors.

You cheat. I misunderstood the directions.

You’re a big, fat flirt. I’m friendly.

You are a religious fanatic. I just know the Bible.

You are a political idiot. I am pulsing the new trends.

You have really bad breath. I had pasta for lunch.

You are getting fat. I am finding my natural body weight.

You are ugly. I have classical features.

You seem to fail at everything you do. I’m looking for my niche.

Now, is this clear? Because I wouldn’t want you to go through the rest of your life confused.

 

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Best Man

Best man: (n) a male friend chosen by a bridegroom to assist him at his wedding.

Dictionary B

The danger of being candid is that after you spill your guts, you risk that others around you will insist they never feel the way you do, and are even appalled at your inclinations.

With that in mind, I will present a theory in this essay which you can feel free to deny, but if there is a lick of truth in it, do so at your own soul’s peril.

It’s fun to be a best man.

And the greatest fun about being a best man is having the ability to flirt with the bride without having to follow up with consummation.

Matter of fact, I will tell you that the greatest responsibility a man has is taking simple flirtation through the course of dating, ending up with commitment, and then having to deliver the full impact of all the promises.

Flirtation is marvelous.

Both parties feel invigorated by it and there is a sexual rendezvous in the mind which doesn’t have to be acted out, ending in disappointment.

In other words, brain sex is always great.

So I think many guys like to be the best man because they believe that often, in the mind of the bride, they are the best man … and she’s just settling for the other guy. 

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Beguile

Beguile: (v) to charm or enchant, sometimes in a deceptive way.

Dictionary B

Subtlety seems to have been abandoned by our generation, which runs away from cleverness like teenagers escaping the responsibility of a joyride.

We just don’t understand that brashness is no replacement for cajoling.

So boldly, we strike out with our opinions, and are somewhat astounded that others do not find them endearing or enlightening. So then it becomes necessary for us to attack these unbelievers with further brash retorts, comments and tweets.

Even though the word “beguile” has a dark tinge to it, the human race has never been brought to its senses by direct confrontation or merely the presentation of knowledge.

We need truth to flirt with us.

We need to be romanced into the discovery of goodness.

We need the chilling sensation of the first date to gain first insight.

Without this, we become commonplace, boring and eventually, stubborn.

Yes, if I were to describe the worst condition of humanity, it would be the sedimentary accumulation of beliefs which neither bring passion nor innovation.

Come, Spirit of God.

Beguile me with your creativity.

Entice me to yearn for the intimacy of a good idea.

And make me hunger and thirst … for righteousness.

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Barring

Barring: (prep) except for; if not for.Dictionary B

Democracy is a bitch.

Just about the time you think she’s going to be faithful to your cause, she turns her back and flirts with other suitors not to your liking.

It’s the nature of allowing free will to have its way. Democracy refuses for you to steal choice from others.

Barring a miscarriage of justice, gay people in this country will be given complete rights and eventually be absorbed into the consciousness, to become either contributors to the common good or aggravating irritants.

There’s nothing that can be done about it, nor should anything be done. Otherwise, my freedom might get attacked by jerks.

Barring us becoming a religious nation guided by only one opinion, the United States will always fuss and fumble its way to granting the leniency of opinion to all of its citizens.

Such consideration does not eliminate prejudice, it just points an accusing finger in its direction.

Religious folks just need to understand that when it comes to the Christian way of thinking, the founder of our faith, Jesus, freely admitted that there are matters that are solely the concern of Caesar. And there are also decisions which can only be rendered in fairness by considering the love of God.

Barring insanity taking over our country, we will be a confused, arguing clump of often-grumbling citizens who in the long run, reluctantly agree to allow diversity.

 

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