Tag Archives: Word

Beverage

Beverage: (n) a drink, especially other than water

Dictionary BPerhaps one of the more valuable parts of my mission of writing this daily essay using the language that Webster offers to us is that I can occasionally warn you about words that should never be used.

I’m not going to make a comprehensive list right now, but instead, will use today’s choice as an example of such a misstep.

May it be declared from the Heavens and enacted upon the Earth that the word “beverage” should never be spoken aloud, at least in the Continental United States.

It is one of those words that makes it appear that you’re either very insecure about your education, or you are determined to pick obscure terms in order to make yourself look like the long-lost noble son of the Russian throne.

Beverage is not a word.

It is what we shall call an anti-word.

An anti-word is something that comes out of our mouths which we thought would communicate our sophistication, but instead leaves the room bewildered, perplexed or pissed off because we are acting superior.

You can feel free to say, “Do you want a Coke?” (That works really well in the South.)

I suppose it’s tolerable to say, “Would you like a soda?” (Even though in the North, “pop” is preferred.)

But the safest thing to ask is, “Would you like something to drink?”

So if we’re beginning a list of forbidden terms, let us start off with the word “beverage.”

Because quite honestly, anyone who asks me if “I want a beverage”… just might be training to be a serial killer.

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Thank you for enjoying Words from Dic(tionary) —  J.R. Practix 

 

Activate

Words from Dic(tionary)

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Activate: (v.) to make something active or operative.

Let me give you a new definition for intelligence: Intelligence is when you find an easier way to do something without sacrificing quality.

Do you remember when they came out with check cards? Or really, at the very beginning, with credit cards? They had a process they used to “activate” your account. Can you recall how ridiculously difficult it was?

It involved remembering some numbers, calling long distance, or driving to your local ATM and punching in something you couldn’t possibly regurgitate. Performing the task was usually followed by discovering that you had left some piece out of the process, leaving you holding your totally useless plastic rectangle.

It’s what I love about this country–discovering the best part of capitalism. That is, creating something, making your money from it as soon as possible and then dropping the price or simplifying the retrieval.

It’s why I would NEVER be the first to buy an I-Phone. I have no desire to be an entomologist. I will let all the first purchasers work out the bugs. I’ll just come along later, when I see signs advertising “New and Improved.”

For instance, I like restaurants that advertise, “Under New Managements.” They’re letting me know that somebody screwed up and that now they’re trying to screw it back down.

  • It would be wonderful at this point in our history if some true leaders and statesmen would appear, to activate our government.
  • If some whimsical, free-thinking theologians would activate our spirituality.
  • If some musical artists would activate our emotional souls.

But for that to happen, complexity will have to be set to the side as we giggle at how foolish it was to make things difficult.

Maybe that’s why I write this daily column–just to activate in each one of us the wisdom that is carried in the power of a single word.

 

Abode

by J. R. Practix

dictionary with letter A

Abode:  1. n. a place of residence, a house or home. 2. a sojourn or a stay

Words can freak people out.

Sometimes that’s the problem with looking things up in the dictionary–you end up thinking that a word like “abode” really sounds cool, so you mistakenly and foolishly try to use it in a sentence in the presence of your friends. So instead of referring to your house or apartment, you mention it in passing as “your abode.” It may seem really hip to do things like this, but you have to weigh the value of intellectual pursuit against the prospect of scaring your friends, making them think you’ve become a terminal nerd who is beyond redemption.

I know there is a common sensibility that the better your vocabulary becomes, the greater your potential for success. But I think there are limits. I think if you start sounding like an eighteenth century poet while you’re ordering your lunch at McDonald’s, you may be the victim of one of the classic turn-offs.

Much as I may not appreciate what I’m about to say, I have to admit it’s true. Some words have retired and are in need of collecting social security–and perhaps have entered the realm of dementia.

Abode is such a word.

If you actually did use the word “abode” in a common, everyday sentence, people would think you were either a smart-ass or that you were on the verge of becoming an interior decorator. Don’t ask me what that means. I just know it isn’t particularly good for your social interaction. So the next time you’re tempted to say “abode” instead of “house,” just remember that others who have selected that profile have ended up very alone … pretending that they enjoy reading Robert Louis Stevenson novels.